The window is not the view - the window allows the view, and as we make footprints along our life journey we must remind ourselves that those looking through the window, those with whom we share our path along the way, are all more alike than different, and that no matter how many 'lifetimes' we live we must, through seeking with our soul and seeing with our heart, forgive each other and make peace with who we are or we will never be content.... 

Death of a Family

She lost her siblings about three years ago. The family breakdown had been smoldering like dying embers since the death of their mother several years previous. Hurtful memories of their negative attitude with her at their mother’s bedside during the week of her palliative care, and their unrealistic expectation that no matter what they all felt about familial placement, acceptance and relationship, they should all grieve in the same manner, lurked painfully in her head. Their false accusation that she had manipulated the Chaplain’s eulogy at her mother's funeral to suit a traumatic situation in her own life, almost pushed her over the edge, particularly as she had not even been given the choice of any planning re the funeral. But she reached out, chose to forgive and forget and moved on. The happy arrival of a significant other into her life and the love and stability he brought to her and her children seemed to evoke nothing but jealousy from her siblings and total inacceptance of him as her partner.  Then the family cottage issue reared it’s ugly head one more time. Her inability to continue paying towards the maintenance upkeep of a cottage with memories now lost to selfishness, and a cottage now in physical ruin, and her subsequent suggestions re the sale of the cottage, had been negatively received and very much misunderstood. Nasty personal accusatory correspondence was sent to her, attacking her integrity, with absolutely no empathy or concern for her position and no acknowledgement that her opinions were just as valid as theirs. A consequence of discontinued sibling ties was issued. But this attitude was not new. Her older sibling had, by choice, not been emotionally or physically available and only sporadically involved in the family for most of their adult lives. Her younger sibling, although they had been not only siblings but the best of friends, had, in the years since their mother’s death, pulled away from her, making it very clear that continued sibling interaction  was no longer wanted/needed and filled her life and time with solely her husband’s family. And she had been left afloat, despite her repeated pleas to both siblings to have a closer, more connected relationship with them.  She had passionately wanted, and had diligently worked toward having the love and emotional security of a full family unit, but had  finally, and unfortunately, now in her senior years, come to realize that this would never be, and so must accept the loss of her siblings. Now she mourns. The loss is dreadfully painful, some days harder than others, some nights terribly long with restless, interrupted sleep, and some thoughts best left unopened. Time heals all wounds, 'they' say, and this, too, will pass, but what an unnecessary and unwarranted hole in the circle of life and what a cruel sadness to have to bear.