Each persons life is a story that is telling itself in the living.....

The Need For Storytelling

There was a time when people gathered together around their kitchen tables, on their  porches, in front of bonfires - wherever and whenever a gathering was possible - and stories were told, again and again, renewed with each telling. Unfortunately, somewhere along the way, this art of storytelling has been lost. In our very busy, active and often work consumed world, our time to meet with others is often limited and so verbally passing on our stories to each other is not always possible.

Every story has a beginning, a few obstacles, some hope, and a future, and by sharing these stages of our lives - by writing our stories - we can learn and continue to grow. Our stories are powerful and can be incredible, sad, beautiful, breathtaking or heartbreaking, but whatever they reveal they can take us deeper into the lives of our family and friends and even beyond. Meaningful sharing is the foundation for the caring relationships we all long for in our life. Our stories - our experiences - and our perception of those experiences - can open the hearts of others, as their walls go down, helping them to see themselves, and even ourselves, in light of the stories that define us. 

Some of our stories  might surprise us, some might move us and some might even confront us, but, throughout it all, our life - related to others through the written word - will challenge us to listen to each other and ultimately share in the narrative of our life as we, the writer, has experienced it.   

By writing our stories - our memoirs - we safeguard our personal histories and, at the same time, we leave a personal record for our family. And, in this way, through reflection and documentation, we continue to share our life with them.

One of our goals along our life journey should be to encompass ourselves with people who respect us and treat us well.....

Thought for the day:
People who truly love and care about me will like me just the way I am. This is not because they are blind to my shortcomings, but because they so clearly see my soul and my shortcomings then dim in comparison. I am thankful for these people within my life journey who are willing to let me be imperfect..... 

Every event has its course and its purpose....

Dream Truths

Snuggled in the corner of the comfortable couch she stared out the large picture window at the night sky, at the moon and the stars. She closed her eyes to listen to the night sounds, the wind as it whispered through the trees, and felt herself drifting into sleep.

Her 'dream' thoughts took her to a place - a bookstore - where she had a part-time job. She saw herself in the small but well-stocked store, comfy chairs set out for browsing readers. She looked different. She wore a wide silver bracelet, many rings. Her salt and pepper colour hair was styled in a chic sort of way and her clothes were a kind of 'Joe Fresh' cool. She was helping a middle-aged customer with finding something gripping to read. She worked in the store several days a week and spent the rest of her time volunteering, writing, and simply puttering around her home. She awoke with a start from her fantasy, trying to hold on to the message that the dream was relaying to her. She sat upright and flung the quilt from her shoulders.

The past few years had had their share of hardship and unkindness and she had worked very hard to rid herself of the negative events and painful memories. She had finally uncluttered her emotions and had begun to feel wonderfully free. She was confused now, though, with the nagging pull that her dream had awakened in her. Some thought in the back of her mind made her wonder if there was still some purging needed before she could freely enter the next phase of her life.

And so she began to think about all of the unnecessary clutter in her home. There was so much of it and the notion of getting rid of it all - of downsizing (which she needed to do if she was to put in motion her desire to move to a small town and 'start over') - aggravated and discouraged her.  It would be so much work, but it needed to be done if she was to clear a path for her new journey.

She decided to give things away. There was a second-hand furniture store she had always liked to browse in and she made a deal with the owner to take away - for free - all of the large items she did not want to move with her. Neighbours in her sub-division took all her pantry staples - her Arvinder Indian Spices, her Maple Syrup jars, her home-made cranberry sauce, her canned goods, her jars of pickles. She packed and put aside everything else she didn't need to use daily.  

The de-cluttering process had prepared her way to place new footprints along her life journey.  She had seen so many people take the bull by the horns and it was now her time to do the same. From this moment on she would live her life in the moment - enjoying the best of each day - and existing in an environment that would meet her needs in a fulfilling way. And so she embarked on her new path, allowing herself to make decisions that were for and about herself. The next stage of her life was set to begin. She sat again in the corner of her couch - this time, though, picturing herself walking into the bookstore, unknotting her scarf, sliding out of her coat, and walking the aisles as she searched for something she knew she would find.....    

   

Relationships are not genetic.....

Thought for the day:

Sometimes we have to let go of people with whom we have a biological connection - not because we don't care, but because they don't. Letting go means coming to the realization that some people will remain a part of our history but will no longer be a part of our destiny

Along our life journey we, if mindful, can finally learn that saying no is the ultimate in self-care.....

Worthiness

By Beverlee Blampied (c)

When I become worthy
In your eyes again
Will you still be worthy in mine?
With methodical planning
And devious ploys
You chose to defeat and malign
Deep in thought each day
Since you tossed me away
I've now had time to discover
What is really true
I now see you
Without the obstacles
I now see the uncovered you -
So I ask you
With totally candid concern
What makes you worthy of me?
I finally believe 
That there no longer is
A reason for us to be
When you forgive
What you think I've done
Remember then your own guilt
And that we can now never 
Mend the broken bond
Behind the false walls that you've built
With your continued absence in my life
My strength has genuinely grown
As your maliciousness continues
To make me aware and strong
So if and when you decide
I am worthy again
Sing silently your humble song..... 

Each breath we take and each beat of our heart comes only once.....

Torn Threads

The footprints of her life have travelled many a journey - the most arduous of which has been the tangled webs of the torn threads of her family. But there was a time, not so long ago, when she never could have imagined being permanently estranged - being apart - from her siblings and their families. However, the events that had transpired within the past few years had caused irreversible damage.  Throughout the turmoil she had tried with everything in her to maintain the sibling relationship, as all throughout her family existence she felt that adult siblings should have the ability to resolve conflicts and avoid estrangements by engaging in effective and reciprocal communication and by relying on the neutral bond of siblings. Thus, her many requests for reconnection and finally the issuing of an olive branch. But, unfortunately her attempts met constant rejection and the resulting estrangement has now destroyed an entire family. There is a great divide within the family unit. New parameters were issued. The ties were severed. 

Sibling relationships were the longest threads in her life and the tug from those threads was what has brought her on her journey today. Today isn't the first time she has left her home in the darkness of the early morning 'wake-up'. Several times in the past two weeks she had reached the Go Train Station just as the sun had peeked through the clouds, but her emotions had got the better of her before the train arrived and she had slowly retraced her footsteps home. 

Today, though, is different - today she will follow through on her journey to visit with her critically ill sister. The estrangement with her sisters had been the fuel that had burned her soul, but she had become whole again, after much hard work and soul searching. Fortunately life's lessons had given her the ability to survive the estrangement. She had learned how to stop conforming to her siblings model of who they thought she should be and how they thought she should live her life, and, through it all, she had discovered her true self - who she really was - liked who she saw in the mirror, and had finally found peace.  She was no longer going to let  fearful emotions destroy this peace. She realized, though, that she needed to weave her way through the tangled web and touch the family thread again - she needed to see her sister one more time. 

They had reached their senior years. Time was running out like the sands in a draining hourglass. The barriers across the paths they had shared had not been removed. Although forgiveness and reconnection were no longer viable options for her, she still needed - wanted - to let her sister know that no matter the issues that had torn them apart, she is willing to put away the memories of the hurt, the rage, the resentment, the unstitched gashes - all the bad feelings - for this visit. She sincerely wants to wish her sister peace within her heart and mind and much strength throughout her physical recovery. She needs her to know that although life for herself and her sister has turned down a path that leads nowhere, the torn threads are just that - torn - but the actual family tie can never be broken.

And so she will enter the door to her sister's hospital room, reaching out one more time.....

The ripple effect of the words that we share has a greater power than we could ever possibly imagine.....

Thought for the day:
Every conscious thought that we have, every word that we utter and every intersection of those words with our world, be it verbal or written, leaves an imprint that in some way surrounds each of us and stays with us forever.

Sometimes people around you won't understand your journey. They don't have to - it's not their journey..... 

The Peace of Freedom

She made her decision without thinking - that is, without consciously thinking. The real surprise to her, though, was not really what she did with that decision but was in how she felt afterwards. She was shocked, of course. But not at all guilty. In fact, she actually felt simple relief and full of peace, when the very least she should have felt after walking away from her forty-two year marriage was shock. She had not mentioned a word to anyone - family or friends - even herself, by way of apologies or excuses. 

She wasn't sure why or why now. But, as she placed her house keys in the blue pottery dish on the foyer table and closed the door of her dignified home behind her, she supposed that the years of emotional neglect, submissive servitude and submerged identity, instead of the promised life full of colour and interest and the richness of love and loving had finally taken their toll. By the time she had reached seventy years old, she couldn't help feeling both cheated and empty.

And so, without a backward glance, she clutched her purse closely and pulled her small suitcase on wheels and began her walk to freedom. Not to have the faintest idea of where she would go, what she might do - or become - was a perfectly new and intensely liberating experience. She now felt as excited as the young girl she once was as she started her journey and was actually happy enough to run. Far away from the neat suburbs of stately tree-lined avenues. Far away from her smug middle-class security. Far away from her sou-destroying marriage.....