We travel paths through our life journey that will lead us to people who become our friends and  no matter what trials we go through along the way, we must keep in mind that we all need each other and ultimately friendship becomes the wine of life.....

Sad Trails

My footprints tomorrow will leave a trail to a funeral home in Brampton for the visitation of a dear friend about whom I had written a story, on this blog, earlier in December, called Heartfelt Emotion. Rosemary died a ‘peaceful’ death yesterday morning, after a courageous struggle to live, surrounded by her significant other, Neill, and 2 of her children, Julie and Joe. For this we can be thankful. Her life had been filled with much turmoil but her death granted her a peaceful, quiet release from her 8 week existence in the ICU department of The Credit Valley Hospital.

This path in my journey is not an easy one - Rosemary and I have been friends for over 10 years and have shared a lot of life’s moments, both good and bad. Many of our life experiences were quite similar - many weren’t - but no matter the situation, we have been able to be there to support each other in our own unique way. We have shared tears of joy and sorrow, and her humor often worked it’s magic to help us through our trials.

Rosemary was a good and tireless mother, always concerned for the well-being of her children - in fact she had just recently returned from China after a visit with her son Stephen who lives and works there - and, although sick, she was able to return home knowing that she had spent time with her grandchildren. Rosemary was kind, and giving and always shared what she could with others. She was an amazing cook and we shared many wonderful hours together giving each other advice - solving our problems and those of the world - over rich, Italian food.  She was a blossoming artist and had taught herself to paint canvasses, producing pictures, and pictures, and pictures of scenes of beauty, and all who knew her have one or more paintings that now have become keepsakes of her special talent.

Rosemary met Neill, her significant other and best friend, several years ago, and with him she  received the gift of true love. He was devoted to her, completely supportive of her, and she loved him with all of her heart. I am so thankful that they ‘found‘ each other and had the privilege of sharing their lives for the the little time that was given to them. 

Rosemary has left her mark on all with whom she has crossed paths - she was a complete ‘world’ - and though losing her is painful, she will never really be gone,  as she will stay in our hearts and will linger on in our memories forever.

Along the paths of our life journey we should always leave room for fun and frivolity........

Frivolous Poetry

Written by Beverlee Blampied (c)

By afternoon I'm taking a nap - going to sleep
Easing way down under, way down deep
Viewing my thoughts, life is as it should be
Especially with no one in it to bother me
Round clouds are white and fluffy, the sky is blue and clear
Leaving me happy, content, with no fear
Even no 'monsters' to make me scream
Everything is well in my perfect theme

Because there are no jerks near to mess up my day
Life is a breeze that is blowing my way
And my children are settled, they've not gone astray
My life has no crisis, no problems, no drama
Per chance it's too easy in this theme glamorama
I have all the power to change at will
Even the unscrupulous that I might want to 'kill'
Down here no one is plotting and scheming

Then I wake up and know I've been dreaming 



Written by Beverlee Blampied (c)

On the one hand
There was so much to gain
On the other
So much to lose
So the best decision
As far as he was concerned
Was simply not to choose 

Written by Beverlee Blampied (c)

Her heart is feeling trusted
Her mind has drawn a blank
She doesn't know what the gist is
But it feels like she has sank
Below the seas of darkness
Below her heart's desire
She doesn't know where her mind is
But she feels like her soul is on fire 

Written by Beverlee Blampied (c)

Strange are the 
Sands of time
Drifting through the ages
Winds shifting them from
Valleys to hilltops to mountain peaks
Yet sand will always remain as
Sand

Christmas is for loving, sharing and giving ......

Christmas Surprises

After hosting a comforting Christmas Eve dinner for friends, for the first time since her husband had passed away five years ago, she awoke Christmas morning to the realization that she wold be facing yet another Christmas Day alone. Even the Christmas tree, now that the gifts were gone, looked a little sad. She told herself that she was not going to feel sorry for herself any longer and went to the kitchen to make tea, but the countertop was piled with cookies and fancy desserts and the fridge was stuffed with enough turkey and ham to last her a month. The overabundance for her Christmas Day alone was quite depressing, so she decided to drive to the closest open coffee shop for her favorite pumpkin flavored coffee.

“Merry Christmas” a voice called as she entered the cafe. She smiled at the attractive dark-haired man at the cash register. “Too bad you have to work today” she said, as she ordered her latte. “Well - it was me or my employees and since I live alone and my family all live in Vancouver, I offered to come in. “Do you miss being with your family?’, she asked.  “Oh, I definitely do -  I especially miss my mother’s good cooking and I even miss my aunt’s awful Christmas fruitcake!”  He shrugged, then added “But I liked being able to brighten someone else’s Christmas Day this year.”

As she drove home, she passed the local hospital where her husband had been the Head of Obstetrics, and the drugstore where she got her prescriptions filled and the gas station where she bought her gas and thought about all the people who would be working this Christmas Day. And she thought again about the handsome cafe owner. As she pulled into her driveway an idea came into her mind - there was something she, too, could do to brighten this Christmas Day not only for herself but for others too.

She set to work making sandwiches with all the trimmings and then arranged cookies on plates and tied them all up with festive ribbons. Lastly, she wrapped a few slices of her homemade fruitcake in foil and topped it with a bow. She put everything in plastic containers and set out to make her delivery rounds.

With her trunk now filled with goodies, she drove to the drugstore to leave some food for the pharmacist, then to the hospital where she dropped off piled-high plates of food at the nurses stations. Their expressions of surprise and gratitude made her feel like Santa Claus. Her next stop was the cafe. He smiled as he saw her. “Back for more coffee?”, he asked. “No - I come bearing Christmas Dinner”, she replied, as she placed a container on the counter. “Wow - this is a surprise“, he said, as he examined the contents, and when he unwrapped the foil bundle he grinned - “Fruitcake -  now my Christmas is complete!”

She laughed as they exchanged names. The cafe was quiet, so they sat at a table by the window while he ate. They talked about her job at the newspaper and his plans to buy a second cafe. When a customer arrived, she put on her coat and headed to the door. She waved goodbye as he was wringing up the customer’s order. “You’re leaving”. He sounded disappointed. “I have another stop to make”, she answered. He held her eyes with his eyes as he said ”I’m closing at 5p.m. - would you be interested in taking a walk then to look at all the Christmas lights in town?” She smiled back and replied that she would be glad to join him. 

A holiday song played cheerily on the car radio as she drove off to play Santa one more time before heading home, her spirit renewed as she realized she had begun the process of making new Christmas memories, and she felt content for the first time in a very long while. 

To my teenage grandaughter - congrats on turning 13 Tegan Noelle.....

HAPPY 13TH BIRTHDAY

Written by Bev Blampied (c) 2013

Happy Birthday - you're now 13
You've arrived at a special age
Choices and plans - what will you be
A doctor, a lawyer, a teacher, a library page?

It's quite okay if you don't know
As more important it is to live each day
Take each challenge, one step at a time
Learn and enjoy your work and your play

Live each moment - do all things well
As what's inside you are the things that last
At home, at school - wherever you are
Guide and guard yourself with care, as life happens fast

Nurture your friends - choose them wisely
The true ones will be there when you fail
But stay close to your family as they are your strength
And from them will come the footprints as you travel lifes trail

I know too well how hopeless a heart can get.......

Boxing Day

Written by Beverlee Blampied (c) 

I am thankful today for my family

I am thankful, too, for my health

And I am planning on this Boxing Day

To share my life of "wealth"

It's the day after Christmas memories

Have been etched into my mind

And I want to share with some for which

The holiday has not been so kind

So, I'll gather up my everyday "fortune"

And set some of it aside

To share with those less fortunate

This Boxing Day - with pride

Christmas is forever, not just for one day  -  not to be put away like the bells and lights and tinsel in some box on a shelf......

The Ties That Bind

Written by Beverlee Blampied (c) 

Families are the ties that bind and should forever last
The miracles of a Christmas moment
Coupled with memories from the past
But there they will sit at Christmas dinner
A family  that was once so dear
With members now absent through family feuds
Bridges not mended, reconciliations not near
Feelings have been hurt
Through which their inner family closeness has been broken
And healing words have been left unspoken
Time and emotional distance have pulled each of them apart
And on this day, more than any, the "brokenness" hurts her heart
So - in unvoiced agreement she will smile and continue on
And show her best as their mother
For they are family - mother, sister and brother
And Christmas can become a day
For each of them to be who they are - the 'who' no one else can see
And through their history they will feel her say "I am you and you are me 
 I am my children and hope for you both a happy future unknown
As the family in me Is written in stone"
And though it may not turn out to be the perfect Christmas
That she has been hoping for
Her Christmas spirit truly will be her best
And she will make this day special from all the rest
Knowing that how she acts will keep her heart and soul in tact
So she will share good will, good food
Make new memories and cherish the Christmas mood
Enjoy one another in the festive moment
And put away the times of torment
As a mother loves - no matter what 
Life will go on, and troubles will soar
But she, as their mother, can see their core
And she will forgive the flaws that the day may find
As the ties that bind ARE the ties that bind
  

We are who we choose to be - we need to stand in our own space and know that we are capable of living our dreams.... 

Fulfilling Dreams

For as long as I can remember the only thing I ever wanted was to be an author.  I constantly dreamed that one day I would see my name on the cover of a novel, but life got in the way and it wasn't until active motherhood ended and retirement became fact that I was actually ready to revisit my lifelong dream. And now, having an abundance of life experiences to reflect on, and having many credits from the school of hard knocks, I hopefully can pour out my thoughts. It is time to write!

Where to start - so many words and so much to say - where should my book begin? Should it be truth or fiction? How do I use my words and thoughts to relay my message through fiction?  Of course, I have only one story to tell and that is my story - I can't tell anyone else's. But my story encompasses much and is full of many experiences, trials and tribulations along the paths of my life journey. If I can separate all of my footprints into tales of truth and fantasy, by so doing I should be able to deliver my unique message. Hopefully, the message that I have to tell will be what attracts the reader as they travel through my ('yet to be written') novel, and, although it may not contain all the impressive insights of the world of literary geniuses, I will wish that the reader will become aware of my writer's heart. And, as I begin diligently now to shape my 'novel', I will continue to remind myself that it really doesn't matter what I write, as what I believe and treasure will ultimately show through.

The love and devotion I gave to my children I thought I could give to no other, but life handed me a pleasant surprise the day I became a grandmother.......

On Being a "Grammie"

As much as I am thankful for having the privilege of being a mother to my son and daughter, and nurturing them successfully into adulthood, I discovered on April 6, 1996, with the birth of Aynsleigh, my daughter's first child, that being a grandmother is a blessing beyond my deepest dreams.  And, on December 27, 1999 and  November 26, 2001 , with the arrival of Tegan and then Rhianne, my blessings multiplied and, as their grandmother, I was again given the chance to reclaim all the simple pleasures of life.

I truly treasure the moments of my granddaughters' births - few things can compare to the pure happiness I felt being with them when they were born - watching them as newborns in their mommy's arms, seeing the happy glow of new motherhood on my daughter's face holding the precious beings who are my grandchildren -  these memories still bring a sort of mixture of pride all mushed together with images of my own son and daughter when they were born. All these feelings often still come together, and at times it feels as if I will burst with emotion.

Being a grandmother has allowed me a friendship with my granddaughters that wasn't prudent as a parent, as the boundaries of 'grandmotherhood' are much different  from those of motherhood. I enjoy a closeness with my granddaughters that time restraints, financial obligations and the busyness of full time work and motherhood did not lend itself to.  I am able to be the soft  place that they can come to - albeit most often now by texting on their cell phones - when the world isn't going their way. They know that their Grammie is always there to listen to and encourage them when the rest of their world is too busy to devote itself fully to their needs.

As my granddaughters grow older I find that I am again able to be part of a whole extended family unit, but this time as the older, wiser (sometimes!) grandparent, and the one who isn't embarrassed to boast about their exploits as if the things they are able to do have never been done by any child before !

There have been so many new things to discover with being a grandparent - things like seeing the wonder in their new born eyes, the way they smiled at me suddenly out of the blue, or how my insides melted the first time each one of them reached for my hand as we walked,  called me Grammie or said "I love you". And, it was wonderful to discover, as they reached their pre teen/teen years that I am one of their closest confidantes because I have always been on their side and have never had to punish them or reprimand them for the mistakes they invariably made. They can confide in me because they expect and receive emotional support rather than rationality and behavior lessons - that job belongs to their parents - but I am a friend with special power - a friend who can help make their hurts feel better - and when small, a friend who could reach the cookie jar! 

Being a grandmother is the best excuse for me to be a child again - I have been able to shed my preconceptions and stare at the clouds with them, explore every leaf or twig on our walks together, and make snow angels in their back yard. I can be young at heart again. I can be myself with them and know that they will always love me unconditionally, mainly just because I exist. I can drop all outside rolls and pretenses with them and I can enjoy more personal freedom with them and develop a closeness that is like no other - and as I have discovered, close family relationships create independent individuals whether they are six or sixty-six years old. The emotional security we give each other as grandmother and grandchild acts as a secure base from which we can leap and fly and conquer our intertwined worlds. And, through being a grandmother, I have been able to build a new bridge with my daughter, as this is the one time we can truly enjoy an adult relationship as , in the world of parenting, we are now peers.

The events of our lives happen in a sequence of time, but in their significance to ourselves, they find their own order - my granddaughters have taught me much along my life journey - their capacity to love their Grammie is the thing that has given my immediate family life it's deepest meaning and significance and, although other things may change us, we start and end with family. With my granddaughters, that means putting our arms around each other and being there in the moment. That means being joined at the heart.      

Dear Santa - 
I no longer need a man I can live with - I have a man I can't live without........

The Teddy Bear

Written by Beverlee Blampied (c) 

My Teddy Bear is more than fluff
He's filled with love and other stuff
He's my best friend when I am blue
Keeper of secrets and a therapist, too
He's a brave protector in the darkest night
The one who can always make things right
He's ever cheerful, never rude
He has the perfect attitude
He helps me sort my thoughts and such
And in return doesn't ask for much
Only that I hug and squeeze
And really hold him, if I please
He's one tough fellow, without a doubt
Though he won't tear his love does spill out
He's a cuddly lover, a work of art
The perfect companion who has stolen my heart

Sometimes along the paths of our journey, we need to give ourselves permission to forgive our shortcomings......

Damage Control

She used to always feel as if she were an outsider, never comfortable, never fully understanding what was expected of her. She always walked on egg shells wondering had she done the right thing; had she unknowingly offended someone with a remark she made; had her work not been good enough; were her friends or partners acceptable? She constantly felt as if she was being judged and most often came up short,  like she had played a game with a set of rules no one had bothered to explain to her. And the older she got, the more uncomfortable she became.

One night she had a vivid, frightening dream full of childhood anxieties.  Motivated by the desire to untangle the dream and to find a level in her life where she could function more comfortably and not always be on the borderline of depression, she decided to seek counseling. In her therapy sessions she talked about the many instances when, as a child, she had felt that she wasn't worthy of total love and acceptance, recalling the many times  where she had shown a constant need for reassurance.

After several therapy sessions and much in-depth discussion, the counsellor asked her how she would feel toward any other child or adult who demonstrated the same behaviors and her answer came quickly - she would be full of compassion. 

She gradually thought about more of her childhood shortcomings and forgave them, one by one. It became like a practice - the forgiving - and before long she was doing it with her adult self as well - forgiving herself for past mistakes in love, in work, in the many daily interactions always open to missteps. She would forgive each mistake, learn from it and try to do better. By learning to master forgiveness she was able to finally nurture her self-esteem and by so doing, she was, after looking for validation in all the wrong places, finally able to validate herself, knowing that, even though she was flawed and imperfect, she was enough.        

Each and every day of our life journey we awaken to a day in which we can choose to be grateful....

Gratitude... 

It often takes a tragedy, be it personal or of the world, to wake me up, to make me re-evaluate my life and appreciate what I have, even though my personal life history has had a lot of turmoil. Perhaps the reason for this is that when tragedy strikes everything becomes instantly prioritized. I quickly realize what matters most and what I care about and who I love, and anything that is not essential is ignored. Yet, when things are going well and happy times have accumulated, it can be so easy to overlook the blessings in my  life. I can  take for granted the relationships that I am fortunate enough to still have and easily get caught up worrying about everyday, trivial incidentals.

Each and every day I am blessed with so much and each and every day I have someone or something in my life to be grateful for, and, to keep my perspective in the midst of a tragedy that the world has recently witnessed with the shooting in Connecticut, USA, I will continue to constantly remind myself that my life and the people in it - my relationships with those I love - are where my gratitude should be placed.

The sorrow, on a personal level, that is now being experienced by the families and friends of those whose lives were so cruelly and senselessly taken, is a sorrow that will never heal and their lives will never be the same, but life will go on for them and with it, hopefully, will be their gratitude for the short time that they were able to have had their loved ones with them. I will continue to learn from this tragedy and put my gratitude in my field of view and be able to know that when/if a tragedy strikes in my small world, I will have, even though I could not be in control the outside forces, been truly centered on the people of value in my life and not have to regret that love became an eternity in a single moment.     

Nothing is perfect - not even a mother's love.....

The Road Back Home

Her close friend from childhood had always had issues with her mother, never feeling that she had received what she needed  - never feeling that she had a soft place to fall when her life turned painful and complicated. She had spent much of her adult life going in and out of maternal estrangement, as she strived in all areas of her life to become the polar opposite of her mother.

Over the years she would wish for things to improve between her mother and herself and sometimes there were stretches where they did get briefly better, but, inevitably, they would revert back to unkind, insensitive and judgmental communication, confirming her feelings that she was unworthy of total love and acceptance, and although she was grateful for what she had been able to achieve in life, she allowed her relationship with her mother to continually thrust her into a pit of old pain and perceived new hurts whenever they were together. So, round and round they would go. She constantly spent her time mentally fueling her negative, condemning conclusions as she would replay each exchange over and over again, and this negative behavior prevented her from feeling true joy from all the little successes that she had worked so hard to achieve.

Her intention to make things better between herself and her mother was true and real but her mind met with confusion each time she reflected on her life  - it was not as if her mother was a bad mother as she had been well looked after and had all the necessities of life in the family home; it was not as if her mother had been physically abusive in any way; it was not as if her mother had not met all the criteria of ‘mother‘ when she was a child - it was only as she grew into adulthood that the relationship became difficult. It seemed to her that her mother was unable to allow any closeness, be it through physical hugs or through emotional connection, and it became very difficult to develop a loving daughter-adult child relationship, a relationship she continued to long for, and a relationship she was determined, more than ever, to nourish with her own children.

Now, many years into her own life full of hills and valleys, having experienced much pain and anguish along the pathways of her own life journey, and having lost her mother to Alzheimer Disease along the way, she was more clearly able to see that the saga of motherhood and what it entailed was not always the same for everyone and that each ‘mother’ took on the role carrying the baggage of their own past life experiences, and in more cases than not, set out to fill that role to the best of their ability. She could now look back and realize that her mother’s inabilities - her coldness, her narrow-mindedness, her judgmental attitude - were a result of what life had handed her as a child of a broken home, and that her mother’s bitterness was the only way that she was able to deal with the damage that came from keeping a home and family of three children together with very limited financial resources and a husband who, as a sometimes recovering alcoholic, was not available to her emotionally.

Now, through self-reflection, for the first time in her life, she was able to admit to herself that by continually blaming her mother for not being the mother she so badly wanted, she, too, had wallowed in self-pity and had become consumed by a victim mentality, and that by dwelling on whatever her mother did or didn’t do, she had allowed it to rob her of her present and to adversely affect her ability to experience joy. She realized that with the continual fixation on her relationship with her mother - or lack thereof - she had been just as selfish, self-absorbed, narrow minded and egocentric as she had judged her mother to be - she had just shown these characteristics in a way that was easier to defend.

With that realization, her memories changed  - all the pain and anger, all the feeling of lacking, was gone. She finally understood that her reactions to her mother’s inabilities were actually a light being shined on the work that she needed to do to commit fully to taking responsibility for her own self mastery, her own transformation. Just like the feeling of lack she had experienced had always helped her find her own path toward positive change in her life, her reflection on her maternal relationship proved to be a beacon of light on the parts of her still left to untangle, still left waiting for her to proactively create the very changes she so wished to experience.  She was now able to empathize - to choose to make each moment of life loving and rich, to choose to connect with the positive, instead of reinforcing internal and external darkness.

She clearly could now see that all of her life-long relationships were soul mates of hers. Her parents, siblings and children were there, either through negative or positive actions, to help her choose to wake up, be present in the reflections she wanted to create and to commit to work on being the person she had forgotten she was. She learned that everyone needs to have the courage to give up the darkness, however cozy and familiar, and to practice new, love-inspired habits, and when the going gets tough, to reinforce those habits with the same kind of inner talk that a loving mother might use when guiding her child. She was so very grateful to have woken up to her ability and responsibility to choose to love and forgive her mother, and to love and forgive herself.                  

As we travel the paths of our life journey we can find much worth celebrating - times that have meaning, situations that bring us joy or peace or love. Christmastime can be an invitation to us to find the reason for the season and celebrate it accordingly......

Tis the Season

Christmas is almost here and with it's pending arrival come the feelings of wonder and awe, happy smiling children, lights and decorations throughout the neighborhood, city sidewalks, busy sidewalks, decorated store windows, families making happy plans to get together to lovingly share in the festivities....

Christmas is almost here and with it's pending arrival come the feelings of overwhelming stress, teary-eyed children, tired and frustrated shoppers in the over-crowded malls, people saying Happy Holidays,  Christmas cards with no mention of a Merry Christmas, and families negotiating the painful minefield of familial disasters of Christmases past.... 

Reflecting back on Christmases from my past, I have many happy memories that I savor and an equal number of anxiety riddled memories that fill me with ample amounts of emotional stress. There have been Christmases where some in my circle of family and friends have struggled with depression, addiction, anxiety and the like, and all the yuletide cheer was nothing short of painful. On the other hand, there have been many Christmases full of wonder and awe - the happy faces of little ones, the smiles of contented family members, and the warmth of making memories around the table as we shared Christmas dinner in the spirit of love. 

I cannot change the memories of Christmases past but I can move with consciousness into the Christmas season and allow myself to make choices that truly represent what I believe in and what has, for me, a sense of purpose, meaning and true value. My Christmas is a time for spiritual reflection, a time set aside for being in the moment with loved ones and good friends and a time for the sharing of gifts that come from the heart. 

As we follow our path, we find that life is full of choices and unfortunately we tend to make some of these choices based on our wants rather than our needs, but if we focus on our core values and beliefs we will be able to make the right decisions and not decisions that we will later regret......

Regrets

Most of my regrets over the years come from the things I didn't do when I had the chance such as neglecting a priceless relationship and the important words that I left unspoken, but I have learned along my journey that it is never to late to set things straight and I can choose to erase my regrets.

I can choose to reject regret by looking ahead and using what has already happened to influence my future decisions. This attitude can push me forward. 

I can change my outlook. When I fail at something I can use that failure to learn what went wrong and apply the lesson the next time I attempt something. If I miss an opportunity I can accept it because the circumstances obviously weren't right for me at that precise moment and I can  believe that more suitable opportunities will come my way again.  This forward thinking perspective will keep me less stuck in past regrets.

I can be true to myself and not be nervous at the thought of being myself, not worrying needlessly about what others will think and say about me. I can make decisions based on what the 'real' me needs, not the persona that I create for everyone else's eyes.

I can do what is right for me by making decisions based on my own best interests, not in a selfish way, but by valuing myself in everything I do. I can still listen to the views of other people whom I trust, take into account their advice and opinions and weigh up the pros and cons of a situation, but ultimately, it is I who has to live with the consequences of whatever I choose to do.

I can aim for higher standards and never betray my integrity or compromise my personal moral code in everything that I do. I know that I have lost respect for those around me by ignoring my own principles and I have lost self-respect as well and that is extremely difficult to deal with - so knowing that I act with a clear conscience is a lot easier to deal with than behaving in an unscrupulous manner.

I can follow the best course of action and not allow the temptation to settle for the option that gives me the least hassle or the one that saves me the most time. The things worth having the most usually involve the greatest effort on my part and for my sense of achievement it is a good idea for me to stretch and challenge myself - take a few risks - push my limits, as I don't want to feel the pang of regret that I never got anywhere because I didn't at least try.

I can follow my dreams be they big and ambitious or small and more realistic. I can research the practical steps I need to take to turn the fluffy dream into a concrete reality, being prepared to be in it for the long-term as success rarely happens overnight. 

I can treasure my health as it is now, even though I have experienced some major health problems - being well is a true blessing that most of us don't fully appreciate until we lose it and I live  with that frustration,  so I will now try to  squeeze every drop of benefit from being where I am now and not end up wishing that I had done a lot more while I was still able to.

I can trust my intuition. We all have a natural instinct about whether or not something is right for us  - I can start paying more attention to my inner voice. If I have a bad feeling about a situation I can be cautious about my next step. I might still get it wrong but at least I can learn and fine tune how I will react in the future - and if events don't turn out exactly the way I hope for , I can avoid falling into the self-blame trap, as I can only do what I judge right for me at the time. I can accept that fact and not beat myself up for getting things wrong.

I can express myself freely and not be uncomfortable about sharing my feelings with others. I can stop trying to keep the peace by pushing my emotions to one side, bottling them up until they explode during a discussion, or worse, until the resentment inside me makes me ill. I can also let people know how much they mean to me and  not leave words unsaid because of awkwardness and then be left desperately wishing that I'd spoken up sooner. Instead of hiding what I really want to say, I can practice how to express myself more freely. I can be positive, sensitive and constructive while putting my points across and this spirit of openness will either make or break the relationship. Sometimes I will have to let go of the unhealthy ones before they do me more damage.

I can  put relationships first.  Material things are all well and good, but these are only of temporary value. After all, it is possible to buy newer and shinier replacements for the old ones but it's much more difficult - impossible even - to replace a loving relationship or a wonderful friendship once they're gone. Material things come and go, but it's our deep bond with other people that really matters the most. We can become so busy and preoccupied with our own lives that we let once-great relationships/friendships wither and die due to neglect. I can cherish the relationships I have now and devote as much of my time and energy as I can to those closest to me.

I can enjoy life - focus on being happy - and not settle for merely getting by. I can experience joy and ease up on worrying . I can laugh loudly and be silly. I can explore what true happiness actually is for me, rather than accepting a pale imitation.

Regrets are a natural response to what has happened to me in my past. I must let them go. I can't change what has already been, but I can choose how I act from here on.

Happiness is not based on possessions, power or prestige but on relationships with the people you love and respect...

Quest for Happiness

Along my life journey I set my goals and targets in my personal life. I felt wonderful when I reached those goals and awful when I did not achieve exactly what I set out to accomplish. All of this would be appropriate if I had even truly known what I wanted or needed. Often I had an idea what that was, but it was not always the right idea.

While walking my path, through peaks and valleys, I learned that happiness is not something that is ready-made, but something that comes from my own actions and is actually the consequence of my personal efforts. I fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, but I will never be truly happy if I keep searching for what happiness consists of - I can never live fully if I keep looking for the meaning of life. I must remind myself that I will become what I say when I talk to myself. With that in mind, I must tell myself  that I can nearly always enjoy life if I make up my mind to believe firmly that I will.

Every moment of my life is a fresh start - a new level of  happiness. There is no direct route to my happiness as happiness IS the way - a feeling that I can tap into - not an outcome of events. I can be happy without changing anything in my life except my own relationship to my own thinking. I need to commit to making happiness my state of mind, rather than relying on a set of circumstances and/or particular people in my life, to do it for me.

I am free to experience my journey negatively or positively and the choice I decide to make will determine my attitude. What I see, and how I see it, depends mainly on what I am looking for, and if I choose to see the positive I will be happy and if I tap into this happiness I will be able to enjoy my journey and will be satisfied when I reach my destination.

Look at the bright side of everything and happiness will follow.

If you take good care of the moment, happiness will take care of itself.

Happiness is living the best you can, with what you have been given, and where you are on your journey.

No  one can make you unhappy without your consent.

A chance of a lifetime in a lifetime of chance.......

Heartfelt Emotions

Yesterday I visited a good friend. We had planned to get together, over lunch, more than a month ago , but the busyness of everyday life and the distance between our homes got in the way and made it difficult for us to coordinate time slots that would fit both of our schedules.

Yesterday we finally got together - but not to share the lunch we had so looked forward to.

My heart ached and my eyes overflowed with tears as I walked into her room in the Intensive Care Unit of the hospital, having finally been granted permission by the nursing staff (as I was not immediate family) to have a two minute visit at my friend's bedside. I had waited over a month to be able  to see her - a month filled with anxiety and fear, as her condition continually hit dark valleys.

Several days after our last long, humorous and enthusiastic conversation, she had suffered a very severe heart attack and as a result of subsequent but necessary medical procedures, her kidneys failed and her body began to close down. She was put on a twenty-four hour dialysis machine and has wires attached to her heart. Her body is continually being drained of fluids and IV's provide her nourishment and medications. She can no longer breath on her own and so a tube, breathing for her, keeps her alive.

Nothing could have prepared me for this visit. My dear, vibrant and fun loving friend lay in what can only be described as a semi-coma, her bruised and battered body pierced with wires and tubes, her eyes open and staring straight ahead, not able to focus, and her face expressionless - but she lingers on, fighting for her life - an act of courage - as she has family, children and a loving partner - those who she does not want to leave. Her courage is strengthened when her struggle is shared by the vigil they keep.

I feel very saddened, but extremely privileged to have been able to visit with her this one last time, and to let her know that I was there and that I cared. And when she moved her lips upon hearing my voice, I knew that she knew her friend was near. I can only hope that I brought her the comfort she gave me with her silent, yet definite response.

Being given this chance of a lifetime in this lifetime of chance has again brought home to me that the moment is all that we have - what truly matters as we walk through our life journey is that we take the time, no matter what life throws at us, to always be fully in the moment with those we love - the people with whom we will share our footprints. 

We will meet many people along the paths of our life journey but we must be slow in choosing a faithful fiend who will share our footsteps in harmony, as those who cease to be a loyal friend never really were...... 

Friends

Written by Beverlee Blampied (c)

If nobody smiled and nobody cheered
And nobody helped us along
If every man only looked after himself
And the good things all went to the strong
If nobody cared just a little for you
And nobody thought about me
And we stood all alone in the battle of life
What a cold, sad world it would be
Life is sweet because of the friends we have made
And the things in common we share
We want to do good for others, not because of ourselves
But because of the people for whom we care
It's living and doing for somebody else
On this, all life's splendor depends
And the joy of this world
When you sum it all up
Is found in the making of friends


A faithful friend is the medicine of life

Real friendship is an unshakeable bond

A person who stops being a friend, never was a real one

The only way to have a friend is to be one

The greatest joys along our journey are celebrations of the heart........

Memories of Christmas

Written by Beverlee Blampied (C) 

Christmastime, snowflakes falling
Frosty windshields, still, cold air
Holly and ivy hanging in windows
Yule tree standing as high as the stairs
Family gathering, young and old
Traditional stories being told
Decorations hanging on branches
Carols and bells and ice skate laces
Children dancing with smiling faces
These magical times are the reason
That Christmas is my very favorite season

Haiku Poems for Month of December

Written by Beverlee Blampied (C) 

Holly and Ivy
Christmastime, snow flakes falling
December - Peaceful

Leafless trees, dark days
Frosty windshields, still, cold air
White snow - December

Candles, carols, bells
Magical times - gifts, parties
Fun in December

Christmas traditions
For people both old and young
Thoughts of December

Bright smiling faces
Presents under the Yule tree
Peace, love - December

Our memories should be the starting point of our present - but we can't live lost in our memories - we must make new ones by walking new paths through our life journey....

Memories

The invitation arrived in the mail last week announcing this years Christmas Cookie Exchange - a day that was set aside each December to make Christmas memories with the children, joining in the sharing of cookies made lovingly by each family involved - a day  that started a tradition many years ago, created by herself and her two sisters when the youngest grandchild was just a toddler - but a day that she was no longer able to participate in as she had been lost - left afloat - by consequences unfairly issued by those who had chosen to be non accepting and judgmental of the circumstances she now faced.   

She had always believed that they would all be bound together for life - that they were all attached by invisible threads of string to a main spool of collective memory - a mass that represented the first conscious recall of everyone in her family -  the way she had often seen nursery school children on a class trip - string had been pulled through the sleeves of their jackets to keep them from getting lost. She wanted to believe that when they moved they were forced to be aware of each other and grateful to not be alone.

She did not like to be alone. She never had, and so had diligently worked towards building a strong family and an extended family unit where she and her children and their aunts and uncles and cousins could share each others life journeys in a circle of unconditional love and acceptance, no matter their differences of opinion, or lifestyles, or choices, or circumstances. But now she saw with alarming clarity what she had avoided facing since she first began collecting memories and now she had to face the reality that families were not always forever.

If she had really been able to separate all the moments in her, to memory, she would have seen herself surrounded by a unified family as they moved through each others lives.  But  realistically, she could see that, after all, she had really always been alone. Yet, for whatever unexplainable reason, some part of her still naively wanted to hang onto the string that should keep them together - to pull the string taut around all the people she loved and never let go......