Dare to be the poet of your life story.......

The Perfection of Imperfections

We were sitting chatting over a cup of Pumpkin Latte at the local coffee shop near her home in Streetsville, Ontario  It was a cold, snowy day but the sun was shining and the morning walk over had been invigorating. However, the sadness I had noticed in my friend's eyes earlier suddenly turned to tears - silent tears, but tears that told of the pain and heartache that she was experiencing in her life, and her need to share her feelings suddenly became overwhelming. We had been good friends for several years and although I had, on a few occasions, felt that she was experiencing something in her life that was making her sad, she had never offered any information, and because we carefully guarded the boundaries of our friendship, I had never questioned her. She knew that she could share anything about her life with me, in non-judgmental acceptance, and I felt that when the time was right, she would be able to open up and discuss whatever it was that she had kept so secretly hidden. And so began a story of hurt, fear, disillusionment, disappointment, depression and extreme emotional turmoil.

My friend and her significant other had been together for ten wonderful years, eight of which had been spent living together as committed partners. All ten years, she said, had seemed ethereal - they had a very strong supportive connection and had been entirely and comfortably compatible, and her partner had been the epitomy of what she felt a loving partner should be. Regardless of, and perhaps because of their troubled past relationships and subsequent and painful family break-ups and divorces, they had joined together, after much deep thought, reflection, communication and a desire to look after each other physically, mentally, and emotionally - to bring happiness into each others life and to walk, hand in hand, into the proverbial sunset of their senior years. 

The problem that was now about to tear them apart, and a problem that her friend had divulged to no one, not even her family, was that every year of their time together, during the same time-frame of January/February her partner appeared to enter into a very debilitating depression in which he got lost in mental and emotional confusion, which appeared to be triggered by some unrealistic, non-existent situation in their lives. His behavior and mood swing at this particular time became very negative and emotionally hurtful in that he turned cold and unreachable and invariably inferred that he no longer wished to be in a relationship with anyone. In the midst of his 'depression' he completely removed himself from his life within their relationship, and spent most of his time in bed, sleeping or staring vacantly toward nothing. These 'episodes', which happened each year, generally lasted the better part of the month, and then, as quickly as each one had begun, he finally returned to his kind, caring and loving self, apologizing for his negative treatment, and could not do enough to show her his love and concern. She related that, unfortunately, this year the 'episode' had lasted the better part of two months - two months in which his stone-cold reactions, and/or lack thereof, also included him saying that he no longer loved her, probably never had, and that he wanted to walk away from their life together and live the rest of his life alone. He had actually even made secret plans to move out and move on. 

This decision, she said, would in no way be her decision, nor would it be her wish, and knowing her partner as intimately as she did, she was certain that these were not his legitimate feeling either - thus, her dilemma. She loved her partner unconditionally - problems or no problems - and knew she would continue to do so - but she had finally realized that the situation they were dealing with could no longer be looked at as a 'normal' relationship problem and that in order to move on positively they would have to seek professoinal help so that another 'episode' would not erupt again. What kept her going was the fact that the eleven months of the year, after the 'episode' was over, had always been extremely good, and so she had managed to deal with the problem each time and work with her partner to build their relationship back to the strong, healthy, happy and supportive and trusting one it had previously been. She wanted to be able to do this again, but this time the negative emotional result had been extreme.

As we ordered more Latte, she continued her story and let me know that her partner was now, once again, back to his real self - sincerely admitting that he did love her and was doing his very best to let her know that he did want to work things through without losing anyone and/or the love and support that had readily been given to him by her and her family.

And so the cycle would begin again. But this time, her partner made an appointment with his family doctor to get to the bottom of why this continued to happen, and was willing to work toward finding a solution for fixing the problem so that it would not happen again. And she had sought help for herself as well.

And now my friend's story began to turn positive and there was a light of hope in her eyes when she related what she was learning through the very wise words of her doctor, and the lessons that her doctor was teaching her. She was already feeling more empowered and was able to see that with help she could be in a calmer and more settled place emotionally to deal with the outcome of this 'episode' and/or whatever else life might throw her way. She had survived painful, personal crises before, unfairly, and more than enough times, but realized now that she had brought some resulting negative baggage with her, as had her partner, and now she was prepared to investigate these issues and repair what needed fixing in her own space. She knew that she was her own worst enemy in that she would often upset herself because of the habit she had of viewing things in a negative and unreasonable manner and so was learning to be able to identify what made her feel depressed and anxious. One of the lessons she was given was that she and her partner were to write a list of what areas they would want each other to change - little annoyances, little irritations, etc. and to share them with her partner, and he with her. While in deep thought about what to write down, she realized that she and her partner truly did not let small things irritate them and had instinctively given each other the freedom to live as themselves, so it was really difficult, at this very basic level, to find anything to put on her list. What she did write, though, was "I asked myself what little changes I wanted to see in you. But hard as I thought, I couldn't think of one thing and that is because, to me, you are perfect even in your imperfections. I've accepted you as  you are - strengths and weaknesses. And I love the whole package. I love the mix. You are a wonderful person, and I love you very much".

What this excercise taught her was that just finding the perfect person wasn't what promised love, but that love was being able to see an imperfect person perfectly. And so her healing began - the 'episode' behavior exhibited each year by her partner was definitely imperfect but was part of who he was, and she could and would continue to love and support him while they sought help together to mend the problem and brokenness that the 'episodes' had caused. She was able now to accept what is, and to nurture a gratitude for what their relationship did offer, accepting her partner completely - the good and the bad - and they, together, could continue to inspire, guide and teach each other, by creating the space needed for each of them to 'fix' themselves - and she was now starting to see that two people could walk in different directions yet still remain side by side and that their love would be the power that would cement and bind them through the difficult valleys in their life journey together. She now believed that positive change could and would come.

I was very glad that I had made the time to be 'in the moment' and available for the walk and talk with my friend. It has been said before that a true friend is your needs answered - she had been in desperate need to share her pain and I am thankful that I was her answer. She chose to confide in me, knowing I would never betray her conficence, and I was able to be there for her when she was ready to do so, and her courage was strengthened because she was finally able to share her anguish.  

Anything less than love is not love as love does not exclude, it embraces.....

The Magic Of Love

Written by Beverlee Blampied (c) 

Your love is like magic, you are always on my mind
You've been a friend and a lover, a combination hard to find
Through good times and bad times you've  always been there
You are  that one special person, you've  shown that you care
When I've needed a shoulder to absorb my tears
You've listened to me and calmed my fears
Understanding and trust have been part of your ways
Your love has been like magic and brightened my days
I can count on you until the end of time
No matter how high the mountain I climb
Together we're magic, together we blend
We're not only partners, we're each others best friend
Love is a feeling we've been so lucky to find
Ever present, ever on our mind
A special feeling the two of us share
A feeling that shows just how much we care
On life's rocky roads we always should be
In each others life, where each became 'we'
So let our love take over, let our love regain control
Surrender to our feelings, give our heart and soul
Hold each other closely and share new, exciting dreams
Treasure our special moments
And share what our togetherness means 
Sometimes being 'in love' may not last forever
Even though we think it always should be
Sometimes things aren't just right
Even though we know they could be
But if we let our love guide us 
Our love will set us free
And our love will reunite our souls
Because we know that together
We are meant to be 

 

Spirituality and the Creative Processes......

Healing 

Creativity, to her, means being who she is, finding words and images for her thoughts and feelings, translating her inner life into outer forms, whether it be through writing a story or a poem. It is the making of her life and her world. She has found that it requires the courage to experiment, to stand against those who are negative toward her ideas, to be sincere to herself in developing her own style of personality and life, realizing that the expressing of her emotions in heartfelt tears when sadness overcomes her is natural and normal and that the raw venting of her emotions is an important step toward freeing herself of painful memories and gut-wrenching hurts. She has also learned that the things that speak to her soul may or may not make sense to all with whom she shares her world. Thus creativity helps her find a way to counter her heaviness and sadness without denying it or even escaping it. She does not want to medically neutralize her depression, but through creativity, she is finding ways to march her footprints through it -  and it is a fine, but crucial line she walks. 

A spiritual outlook for her lightens her dark space - it uses her suffering as a starting point and as the means for seeing things anew, so her creativity can begin in a vision that penetrates her overpowering depression. It is her life moving onward. She can go forward from excatly where she is in her thoughts and feelings to a place where she has never been. She no longer has to constantly manufacture or control her future but can grow the life that is present. She can experience joy again because she can now find something that has life in it. Her soul can be awakened if she is open to letting go.

Words and images have been a very important way for her to describe her life experiences but they must be her own words, her own poetry and her own conclusions. Her language sometimes changes as she gains insight through her writing. Her depth of perception sometimes leads to what she hopes is a beauty of expression. Her poems and stories have, she hopes, become more aesthetically interesting because of a refinement in her thoughts and emotions, as she has found a more honest and direct way of expressing herself through her writing.

Her book is not yet written, but in the meantime, she has continued to tell her story over and over again in the form of short stories and/or poetry, and over time, she will tell it more effectively and join it all together, and in so doing,  connect her to the people with whom she shares her life journey. In the process, she finds unexpected pleasure in the aesthetics of her thoughts and words and that, too, will keep her going deeper, looking for further insights. The beauty of life, to her, is related to the give and take of unconditional love with those with whom she shares her path and that spurs her on to express herself more powefully and this simple art of everyday life continues to play an important healing role in her private world.  

 "No man is an island".......

Strength

Written by Beverlee Blampied (c)

She has learned to lean on those
Whom she can  trust
Those who are close to her
When she finds her trials and heartaches
Need her to seek their support 
And through them she can grow stronger
As sharing her troubles will limit her stress
And will help her linger longer
In their knowledge and strength
And her climb then
On the treacherous uphill slope
Will become easier and perhaps turn out
Even better than she could ever have hoped
And she realized that sometimes
At the worst of times
When it seems life has taken its toll
Her 'family' has already crossed her path
And are ready to help make her whole
Guardian angels, a spiritual force
Whatever the explanation might be
Appear like magic from the heavens
If she clears their way
And gives them her hand
They can help set her free
If she will share her pain and sorrow
In openness and honesty
Her journey through them to a better life
Will brighten her tomorrow
Their compassion and their caring
In a non-judgmental manner
Will make it easy to bare her soul
And will help her with her sharing
And through this attitude of caring
She can reach her center core
And she will be led to the road
That could offer her so much more
And no matter where
The new road may lead her
Their caring and concern will never part 
And they will remain forever 
The connections to her heart




  

If I do not nurture my soul, I can not grow.....

More Random Thoughts Along My Journey

Healing from my emotional wounds is taking time, but sometines it is just a matter of an opportunity presenting itself.....

As much as it is my duty to keep my body healthy, I must also keep my mind strong and clear.....

Fear has been the consuming illness in my life - I now am learning to apply peace and compassion as my cure.....

I write because I feel and because I want those with whom I share my journey to know how I feel.....

There are no limitations in my life, other than what I think, so I must allow my soul to reveal the truth to my mind.....

I need to train my mind to accept only what each situation demands - and in that framework I can give to the moment only what that moment needs.....

We are not meant to be the same as everyone else and my differences in relation to others are as valuable as are my similarities.....

No moment is the same as the moment before it so I am learning to live in each one as if it were a new beginning.....

I have learned to always be aware that there is deep meaning in my every single action and my every single thought......

I have learned that I become more of what I say when I talk to myself so what I say when I talk to myself is crucial....

I must constantly remind myself that if I try to take things day by day and trust along the way, everything will turn out fine no matter if it isn't the result I had envisioned.....

A dark night of my soul is dark because it doesn't give me any assurance that what is happening makes sense and will ultimately be beneficial....

Fate plays a crucial part in the dark night of my soul and so I need to respect and accept the role of fate and destiny in my life......

Each thought that I have that does not agree with my ideals and integrity is destructive....

If I undervalue myself, I will continue to be undervalued by others.....

Saying no to someone or some situation along my journey is the ultimate in my self-care.....

Every time that I don't follow my inner guidance - intuition - I feel a loss of energy, loss of power and a sense of spirital deadness.....

I am learning to stay in  touch with myself and know that everything in life has its purpose....

Tears are a sign of a hurt heart and a shattered soul.....

Expressing Emotions

For most of her life she never was allowed to see crying as an expected, positive or even necessary part of life - not to mention something that one would ever do in front of other people. She was fed the belief that crying was shameful - at best, a sign of weakness and deficiency and, at worst, a symptom of immaturity and petulance. However, several life experiences along the twisted paths of her life journey have changed her perspective.

The most significant of these experiences occurred when she found herself sitting opposite  a psychologist to whom she had been referred by her family doctor when she was having a difficult time adjusting to a major physical and emotional relationship loss along her journey. Out of the corner of her eye, at their first 'session', she saw a tissue box that had been decorated like an arts & crafts project, with yellow construction paper and the words "Survivor Kit" printed in blue high-liter pen on both sides of the box. She surmised that this was some kind of an inside joke to which she was not privy and so promptly shrugged it off.

During her subsequent visits to his office, the psychologist would sometimes nonchalantly take the box of tissues and place it on his desk, directly within her reach - not in a condescending or mocking way, but just as if to say "Don't be embarrassed if you start to cry. Emotions are healthy. Crying is just an expression of your soul."

Touchy-feely? Yes. Stereotypical? Definitely. But as soon as she let her guard down she was surprisingly comforted. Until then, due to the dynamics of the relationship she had been completely immersed/trapped in, she believed that, as a woman, and in order to make the relationship successful, she must stifle her emotions, and was constantly made to feel embarrassed and out of control for expressing them in any way.

Through the expert guidance of her 'counselor' she came to the realization that if she cried, for whatever reason, she need not be seen as crazy or hysterical or overly emotional. In fact, she could legitimately be seen as having a unique gift - the strength and capacity to be in touch with the deepest parts of herself, her very essence - something it is apparent that many men have a much harder time assessing.

As silly as it might seem, the tissue box was a kind of epiphany for her. She had learned that despite what society and/or particular people with whom she had shared her journey might have her believe, it was quite natural for her to get in touch with her deepest emotions, to admit her needs, and to express her vulnerability, and therefore her tendency to express these emotions is a treasure and one that she should never allow anyone, or herself, to devalue.         

The paths that I have travelled have constantly taken me to places and stages in my life where I have learned that there is no good without bad and no light without darkness....

Hard Times

Each and every day is an unknown and sometimes she was in awe that she woke up and got out of bed so casually, when absolutely anything could happen. She had no guarantees that all would be well, that anything she expected to happen would happen, or that everything she hoped to avoid would not happen. Life was a definite risk - but each morning she headed into the world with anticipation, wondering what paths she would travel that day on her life journey.

Some days started out iffy, but then they turned out so well by the day's end. Other days - well, let's just say she seemed to wake up on the wrong side of the bed, and she went along for the ride even when she did not particularly want to. Throughout her journey she had had some of each and many with a bit of both, but she had learned one thing along the way and that was that she would get through them.

The good days pass, and so do the bad days. She can look back to days where she was on top of the world physically and emotionally, and really feeling grateful to be alive. Then she can look back to other days, when it was literally a matter of gritting her teeth, breathing through her fear, exhaling out her anger at the injustice of it all, and opening again and again to the waves of grief and pain pouring up and through her. But on those days too, she had survived.

However, she felt that she had spent much more time than she should have looking for a better way to survive the hard times. Some hard days were spent fruitlessly pushing down or ignoring the challenging or painful feelings, telling herself that they weren't nearly as challenging or painful as they felt. Other days she spent making emergency runs to the hospital, visits to the doctor and labs for more tests, or attending appointments at the therapist  hoping that a quick tune-up would put her back together again, like new, by day's end. Still other days she spent zoned out, in a daze from ingestion of anything and everything with the word 'calming' written on it!

These days, she spends her hard times awake and aware. She has discovered that this approach is neither easier nor harder than other methods, but, for her,  it is both more honest and courageous and she wants more of each of those qualities in her life. She has also realized that she gets the most opportunity to learn when she ceases from pretending that the hard time she doesn't want to be happening isn't happening. It is happening.  It is part of her life, just like the good times, and she has learned to accept both the good and the bad, and that there is always a light at the end of the dark tunnel .

If we think good, it will be good...... 

Flatter Me, Please

Full-length mirrors tended to depress her so she avoided them whenever possible. Her philosophy was that if she looked relatively well put together from the neck up, then she was ready to face the world. She constantly worried, though, about the marginal problem areas in her appearance, and the low-level fussing over her weight stayed at a quiet simmer on the back burner of her consciousness. This was certainly enough to keep her from gazing into full-length mirrors for any length of time. But, the quiet simmer, she felt lately, had turned into more of a rolling boil over the past few years with the stark realization that, save expensive cosmetic surgery, compulsive exercise at the gym and one mean weight loss programme, she would never likely have a figure like she used to in her younger years.

Just last week she spun herself into a major panic attack after an unfortunate encounter with a full-length mirror in the changing room of the swimming pool at her local community center. The distorted visual overhead of herself had her reeling in a downward spiral for hours, and even warranted a long distance call, that evening, to her oldest and closest friend in Montreal, who helped talk her down from the precarious mental ledge she had plunked herself on. 

She had for the longest time, stubbornly held to her "full-bodied" belief that  "what you don't see won't hurt you"  policy - that is until her discovery yesterday of an alleged 'trick' mirror in the try on room of the mall's newest bathing suit shop. It was the most flattering mirror she had ever looked into, and, wonder of wonders, she actually enjoyed trying on many suits of various styles - it was positively the best shopping experience she had had in years. In all fairness, though, the mirror did not completely distort her physical reality - she still was somewhat heavier than her ideal body image was, her stomach muscles were not nearly as hard and defined as they had been pre-child bearing stage, and no magic mirror could remove the varicose veins that had begun popping out of nowhere!  But, in stark contrast to all the other treacherous mirrors she had stood in front of  - the ones that had the uncanny knack for accentuating and reflecting the most undesirable aspects of her body - this mirror highlighted the best of what she did have and made her feel like she was viewing the best senior version of her physical self.

She stepped out of the swim suit boutique, new suit packaged nicely in her shopping bag, feeling so light and carefree. Although she certainly was not a superficial woman at all, she was amazed at how she had allowed this 'positive' mirror feed-back to affect her whole being. She felt weightless and full of positivity. All the self-approving-mirror-loving energy got her thinking about the people in her life who reflect the best of her and the value, or lack thereof, of those who don't. She thought that it would be an ideal world if all those with whom she shared her life journey could afford each other the generosity that the 'hallowed' mirror  afforded her - to see beyond the wrinkles, the protrusions, the undesirables - and focus instead on all the good that is there and to highlight that good in each other.

Ultimately, she didn't want to get trapped in the eye of the flattering mirror, because there were definite areas of herself that did need more careful scrutiny and improvement. But, in the same vein, she knew it would be extremely difficult to really grow and thrive as a person 

while under the constant onslaught of negative feed-back from distorted sources - her own eyes included. 

Her mirror experience was another life lesson learned. She knew that she now needed to try to become the most flattering mirror she could for others in her life - to always look at others in kindness - and that by seeing the good outside of herself, she would automatically fortify the good within her - as she made more footprints in the sand along the paths of her life journey.     

Along my journey I have found that life can shrink and life can expand and oftentimes, in the process, life becomes a path of 'sometimes'.....

Sometimes

Written by Beverlee Blampied (c) 2013

Sometimes..... 
I want to sing, I want to shout
I know the answer, but I'm often in doubt
Things go right,  then things go wrong
I fit right in, and then I just don't belong
I want to laugh, then I start to cry
I want to live,  but sometimes it would be easier to die
I feel alive, then my soul feels dead
My heart hurts, but they say it's  all in my head
I feel lonely, but then I need my space
There are no problems in my world, then I've got too much to face
I want to run, I want to fight
I want to face life,  but often want to be out of sight
I'm happy, then all of a sudden I'm sad
I'm scared, and then I sometimes become mad
I listen to music, then I watch the news
I want to win, but most often I lose
I make decisions, but I'm not always sure what to do
Life is so confusing - what's false and what's true? 

Words are the only things that last forever.......

More Random Thoughts and Reflections

I wish that I had said what I wanted more often - but fear of rejection stopped me from saying  a lot of things.....

I have often regretted my silence, but never, when finally spoken, my words..... 

I loved being part of a life full of family, but I hate having been taken advantage of, and misunderstood, by them.....

I wish that I could walk along the shore of the ocean every day of my life, because the ocean calms and centers my emotions.....

I have had to lose some people in my life in order to find myself.....

Love is where I can carve out my own life.....

My home is not so much a physical space as it is my state of mind.....

The more I write, the more I realize that the difference between fiction and reality is that fiction makes sense.....

I have discovered that the opposite of talking isn't listening - the opposite of talking is waiting.....

Along my life journey I learned that although love could not be bought, I did pay heavily for it.....

I have learned never to compromise myself as I am all I have.....

Expressing my feelings is the key, now,  to surviving whatever fate throws at me.....

All the past experiences, good and bad, in my life have created the 'me' I am today.....

Everything I have done in my life has been a search for truth, for self, for love.....

And finally - love.......

Random Poetry written seven years ago at the fork in the road of my life journey

Written by Beverlee Blampied (c)

To risk love

To chance it all

Is the single

Most important adventure

In life's journey

Not to be missed

Because of fear

Love me

For who I am

Do not try to change me

Please try to understand

My heart

For within there lays

A burning need so deep

To just be loved

For being me -

Different though
I may be

A silence so deep

I feel as if I've been swallowed

A distance so vast

I feel before me an ocean

A place now so familiar

I feel fate has followed

A moment so rare 

I feel the world in slow motion

My muscles can't find a steady pattern

My heart can't find a constant rhythm

But in this moment I want life
To return to me

In this moment I want

Time to set me free

From all the moments

That were once lost 

Explore the chambers of my soul

Release your mind for the journey

Open your heart

Hearing not only the words

But feel the love and the passion

That they unfold

He has escaped his bondage

To find a much worse fate

Family and friends are his enemies

His world is now full of hate

A world of many secrets

No two people are the same

Yet they all pretend to know

They all pretend that it's a game

He runs around blind

Tries to show thatit all make sense

Not realizing that the darkness

Just continues to get dense

He has escaped his bondage

But his prison remains intact

His heart can't make a move

Because he's been too hurt to act

My heart aches

And though it seems aimless

It waits for that moment

When real expression of emotion

Will appear

I'm waiting 

For when I hear your voice

And unexpectedly

You'll make your real presence known

I'm waiting 

For things to be without your past in the present

To be new once more -

To enjoy you for who you are

Not who you once were

Before

I can almost feel the silence of your heart

It cries with broken dreams, broken expectations

Pain

You try to escape

But your efforts are in vain

You think that no one will ever love  you

That you can never trust again

You shed lonely tears in your search for love

But you keep coming back empty-handed

You search for someone to cherish you

And return once more with empty arms

But life can begin once more and now
Through your times

Of loneliness and despair

Look deep within your heart

Again

As who you're searching for

May already be there

Here I am
Standing

With my heart open wide

Struggling
With tears in my eyes

Waiting
For the touch of your hand

Here I am

I don't fall in love so easily

But I've fallen in love with you

I don't fall in love so easily

But my heart tells me this time it's true

I don't even know how it should feel

Don't even know if it's truly real

I don't give my heart to just anyone

Don't even know how to do it

I don't give my heart to just anyone

Don't want to put myself through it

I used to pray some day I'd change

But I found a way to stay the same

I don't fall in love so easily

I don't even know where to start

I don't fall in love so easily

I don't understand my heart

It's so hard to drop my guard

I'm afraid to just let go

I don't fall in love so easily

So how am I to know

Direct me in which way to steer
The path ahead remains unclear
Chase away my menacing fears

Devote  yourself  to drying my tears

Stranger to my puzzled heart

You hold the pieces that play the part
Captured are my thoughts to start

Grasping what may fall apart

The sun danced around me that day

I had no clue what I would say

A force of nature held my hand

It was too much for me to understand

Time has marched on and the feeling is still there

Not much has changed, I am still unclear

Taking my time to make sure it is real

For entering love is a really big deal

That is the path when it comes to love being true

Maybe one day soon we'll be able to break through

And when the sun does shine upon your face

We'll have a race of the hearts, you and I
To a love that will ultimately last until the day we die

Dazzling sunshine sparkles the sky

As I stare deeply into his eyes

Can I believe now in him - my mind still holds doubt

But his eyes make the the doubt fly about

He really is genuine and true

It's so amazing what the truth will do

In that magical place

Where dreams fly free

And stars light the way

In that quiet place

I lay awake - I see your face

Lifted up, I embrace the night

And in that moment

We are together  - complete

We are one

As life goes on we will know

Just how to let our true love grow

When we've become one in heart and soul

With a love that fills the deepest hole

With trust that leaves no doubt in our mind

The beauty of true love we will find

As pure as the light on a glistening dove

We'll have the greatest gift of all - unconditional love 

Take my hand and I'll walk with you

Stay a while and I'll talk with you

Make you smile, and make you laugh

Make  you forget your painful past

Show you that you're worth my time

See straight through to your heart

Without playing with your mind

Be patient with you and earn your trust

Honesty is another must

Stand with you and treat you right

Satisfy you through the night

Arms around you, hold you close

Be there for you - when you need me most

And when the time get tough

Lift you up when you're feeling low

I won't ever let you go

See also : 'The Teddy Bear  December 21, 2012 and 'Finally Love' December 8, 2012

One of Life's 'insights'  along my journey has constantly reminded me that selfless love often means rising above our own needs.......

Love Is In The Air

It's that time of year again - Valentine's Day - the day of love -  the day in which everyone sets out to do something special for that special someone. Hopefully it will be something different, something memorable that will make the love in their life feel just that little bit more special.

It's difficult to measure love in any way other than the "romantic' and a lot of love that is shown on a day to day basis can tend to be so easily overlooked. Although it is always nice to be given flowers, be taken out for a special dinner, or receive a thoughtfully worded card, we should also keep in mind that if, as "partners",  we are here,  on a day to day basis, attempting to do what is needed to render life easier for each other, then that, too, is a showing of love.

All too often we feel the need to emotionally run away in search of a "glamorous romance" dream life, leaving behind what is actually real love all along. The secret, I think, is to combine the every day appreciation for the one who is, and has been, there for us through thick and thin with a "special day" showing of appreciation as well.

We can never give too much love,  but we will most likely never feel as though we had too much either.  It is in the little things, day by day, that love needs to be manifested, received, and appreciated in order to recognize that we don't have to lose what we need and desire - we just have to look at it in the right perspective. And, if we do something special as well for that someone special this Valentine's Day, even if it is not necessarily in our comfort zone to do so, we will undoubtedly feel the love and see the appreciation.   

Happy Valentine's Day to the man in my life - you are and always will remain, "forever and always, no matter what" -  the one true love of my life.....

The pathways along my journey through life have often led me to those who have the experience I need to heed..... 

Wisdom

A quote I recently read said "Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it."  It made me reflect on my life and situations I had faced along my journey and made me re-acknowledge that life is a great teacher and we never really ever stop learning from our own experiences. I have discovered along the way, too, that the world is full of simply 'wise people' - those who have learned before us.

If I were really clever I would have willed the word of those in my own circle - those who have had particular 'like' experiences, and so would have learned to avoid making the same mistakes through listening to their testimonies. But, unfortunately, it just did not seem to go that way most of the time. My curiosity would often get the best of me and I had to see for myself if, whatever it was, would work out my way - or not - thereby perhaps proving, no matter what,  that experience is the best teacher.

While growing into my adult self, it seemed to be innate to not take people's word for things, to have a burning desire to prove 'them' wrong, especially if 'they' had any authority over me. But then, as I grew, I began to figure out that it might have been a lot better if I had paid attention to the 'teacher' who had "been there", and "done that". Had I chosen to listen, I could have saved myself a lot of time and, sometimes, a lot of grief. But, instead, I tended to linger on a certain kind of pride that battled with having to give in and finally accept that someone else might just be right. It's quite strange, but more often than not, I wanted to be the one that was right - sometimes even when I was wrong!

Wisdom shines its light when we finally realize that we actually don't have all the answers and we do need to pay attention to, and listen to, others. It is great that I can have such a vast array of intelligent and experienced people around me from whom to draw my experience - I just have to be open to listening and then allow the wisdom to seep in. 

   

If our journey along the path we travel seems to be difficult and cold, wrapped only in black and white, we need to choose an alternate path at the crossroads and open up the chance to place our footprints in shades of grey......... 

Shades of Grey

Black and white are actually decisive colors that are both interesting and necessary on the creative color and decor charts of my life. But there is truly nothing that brings out the beauty and truth in my life than many shades of grey. There are some things and situations that are definitely black or white, but if I were to paint everything over with just black and white I would lose so many beautiful and amazing details that I would otherwise notice and would otherwise help me have a better perspective, should I add a bit of grey.

It is easy to make that mistake when I judge a situation or attempt to arrive at a crucial decision. I apply the black and white rule only and leave out various shades of grey, and thereby risk missing out on a lot of detail that could make the overall picture much more clear and reliable.

Life, love, relationships, religion - in fact all of my experiences as I travel along my journey through life - encompass many different shades of grey. If I want to be successful in any particular area, I have to look outside the paint can, take a few steps back and study my canvas. If I focus on things with a new perspective, I often find that by adding those shades of grey I will complete my masterpiece, better my life and help myself to grow closer to those with whom I have chosen to share my world.