The paths of my life journey have led me to the place where I am now able to not conform to my own or to other people's models. Al I need is to be myself - believe in myself - and allow all my natural 'channels' to open.....
Belief In Self
For the past 10 years the lack of belief in myself was a major factor in my life. I never pushed past my comfort zone because I didn't really believe that I could.
While I'm not free of all self-doubt these days, I can honestly say that, as a result of recent life experiences , I now believe in myself like never before. This doesn't mean that I'll never fail again - I probably will. Probably often. But that's OK.
Along the bumpy paths that I have travelled I have learned that it is completely fine to try and to fail, to put myself out there and not be perfect. Failure, not being perfect, making mistakes, not having people agree with me, not having people love me, not being completely accepted are not negative things - they are actually positives - they are little pieces of feedback that were necessary to grow and to learn.
I have now grown beyond the absolutely socially acceptable realm. I have accepted the things that I was afraid of - I have learned from them, embraced them and in so doing have let go of the fear.
It wasn't easy - and it took a lot of practice - but I have now removed the things that held me back. I continue to push past my discomfort, thereby growing my discomfort method. I put myself out there and am OK with not knowing if people will accept me. I make a decision now, not listening to the negative self-talk that normally held me back. I have learned to trust myself and can now go into situations, not knowing the outcome, and I am OK with that. I have learned through repeated attempts, in the relationship areas of my life, that it is OK to fail - I will survive!. I have learned that I am stronger than I thought, and that I am more capable and more tolerant of discomfort than I thought.
And through this practice, I have found myself again - and realize that being myself and leading with my heart is perfectly fine. No one person's judgement or lack of love will ever again take away anything from my strength, purpose or soul. I am complete and I am whole. I am me.....
