Heartfelt Emotions
Yesterday I visited a good friend. We had planned to get together, over lunch, more than a month ago , but the busyness of everyday life and the distance between our homes got in the way and made it difficult for us to coordinate time slots that would fit both of our schedules.
Yesterday we finally got together - but not to share the lunch we had so looked forward to.
My heart ached and my eyes overflowed with tears as I walked into her room in the Intensive Care Unit of the hospital, having finally been granted permission by the nursing staff (as I was not immediate family) to have a two minute visit at my friend's bedside. I had waited over a month to be able to see her - a month filled with anxiety and fear, as her condition continually hit dark valleys.
Several days after our last long, humorous and enthusiastic conversation, she had suffered a very severe heart attack and as a result of subsequent but necessary medical procedures, her kidneys failed and her body began to close down. She was put on a twenty-four hour dialysis machine and has wires attached to her heart. Her body is continually being drained of fluids and IV's provide her nourishment and medications. She can no longer breath on her own and so a tube, breathing for her, keeps her alive.
Nothing could have prepared me for this visit. My dear, vibrant and fun loving friend lay in what can only be described as a semi-coma, her bruised and battered body pierced with wires and tubes, her eyes open and staring straight ahead, not able to focus, and her face expressionless - but she lingers on, fighting for her life - an act of courage - as she has family, children and a loving partner - those who she does not want to leave. Her courage is strengthened when her struggle is shared by the vigil they keep.
I feel very saddened, but extremely privileged to have been able to visit with her this one last time, and to let her know that I was there and that I cared. And when she moved her lips upon hearing my voice, I knew that she knew her friend was near. I can only hope that I brought her the comfort she gave me with her silent, yet definite response.
Being given this chance of a lifetime in this lifetime of chance has again brought home to me that the moment is all that we have - what truly matters as we walk through our life journey is that we take the time, no matter what life throws at us, to always be fully in the moment with those we love - the people with whom we will share our footprints.
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