Insights of a Senior Citizen
Her journey to Senior Citizen Status had often been marked by sharp, uneven pebbles but other times was lined with beautiful foliage and flowers - and the wisdom she had acquired along all the paths she had walked has been very useful to her.
However, as she got older and grayer, she started reflecting more often about her life as a senior citizen. Where was she heading to now? Would she be happy in this last stage of her journey? Would she be useful? Would she be needed? Would she be loved? Would she end her days alone? She knew she was in the twilight of her life and in the years past she had seen many different lifestyles of various senior citizens, lifestyles both positive and negative - some she could fit into, others which she wanted no part of. After retirement everyone had suggested that the years seemed to pass much faster so she knew that she needed to form a plan to have a fulfilling senior existence. She concentrated on the fact that she would now be able to be with her family and friends more often without the time constraints she had during her working 'career'. She would now be able to talk and laugh daily with her grandchildren and have more sleep-overs with them sharing popcorn and ghost stories and/or listening to their stories and thoughts about their lives as they travelled the various stages of growing up - she wanted to know every detail. She would now be able to stay up late at night watching movies till the wee hours of the morning. She would be able to chat on the phone with her friends and discuss the fantasy love affair she had watched on her favorite soap opera the previous day. She would be able to read all the books she had put aside because of life's busyness. She would be able to follow her passion and write stories and books and hopefully become a published author. She would now be able to devote more free time to volunteering and giving back to her community. Good plans and wishful thinking, but often life managed to get in the way...
Often, too, the realization would hit her that life does come to an end - her closest friend had recently passed away and she would no longer receive that special invitation to their family reunions or significant celebrations, or receive phone calls in the middle of the night when she needed to talk or share the news that another grandchild had been born. Another friend's husband who had dementia had recently been placed in a long term care residence. Her neighbor never made it home from the hospital after suffering a massive heart attack. She was losing people and her circle of life was beginning to close.
She knew she could turn to her immediate family for friendship and love, but she did not want to be a burden to them. Her children were grown with families of their own and their own lives to live and so had no extra time to give her, and she was certain that the thought of her one day moving in with them, if necessary, would make them shudder - and that was not a choice she wanted them to have to make nor did she want to choose that option either. She knew that that was how it should be - she was no longer the main focus of their love and affection and nor should she be. The babies in her family were too young and had no idea how much she needed them. The younger grandchildren were too active to realize that she would like to talk to them more often. And the teenagers were busy branching out to begin their individual futures. All of this was how it should be - it was a rite of passage for both generations. But she wanted them to be proud of her and her experiences and accomplishments. She wanted them to forgive the mistakes she had made as a parent and to remember that no one was perfect. Mostly she wanted them to know that she would love them forever.
She had, through life's lessons, learned that being a Senior Citizen did not have to mean the end of her life. It had taken her a while but she finally knew that this was her time - and that she had the right to develop the way her life would unfold at this final stretch. She was still alive and well and had a lot more living to do. After much soul searching and agonizing she decided that it was time for her to find someone to share the next stage of her life with -someone who would fill her life and take away the need for her family to feel responsible for her happiness and security.
She 'dated' three men. The first was quite charming and the perfect beginner boyfriend, but was not interested in a fully committed relationship. They dated for three months and still remain friends. The second man she only dated once as he favored himself something of a player and was just looking to put another notch on his over-used bedpost. She sent him away the first evening before the midnight hour arrived. She was fortunate, finally, to meet the third man, and now enjoys this stage of her life with a wonderful partner - he is the perfect match for her in every way - he is a gentleman, intelligent, articulate, attentive, kind, honorable, supportive and has a wonderful sense of humor. They love each other dearly. He loves her children and grandchildren and shares with her the joys of the times that they can all spend together and he appreciates their connection with him. As a couple they travel, visit museums, art galleries, and libraries, take courses, dance, sing karaoke and share dinners and cottage weekends with a close circle of friends, and are open to enjoying new life experiences as they present themselves.
Her life is full and she is happy. Her aging outside cover simply shelters what is within her. She wants her loved ones to take a moment to really look at her, and see the beauty inside her soul. She still enjoys life and her heart sings when she is surrounded by friends and loved ones. From the mind to the heart and soul can be an infinite distance, yet she has strived, and succeeded, to fill that gap through her personal search for truth and meaning.
She knew she could turn to her immediate family for friendship and love, but she did not want to be a burden to them. Her children were grown with families of their own and their own lives to live and so had no extra time to give her, and she was certain that the thought of her one day moving in with them, if necessary, would make them shudder - and that was not a choice she wanted them to have to make nor did she want to choose that option either. She knew that that was how it should be - she was no longer the main focus of their love and affection and nor should she be. The babies in her family were too young and had no idea how much she needed them. The younger grandchildren were too active to realize that she would like to talk to them more often. And the teenagers were busy branching out to begin their individual futures. All of this was how it should be - it was a rite of passage for both generations. But she wanted them to be proud of her and her experiences and accomplishments. She wanted them to forgive the mistakes she had made as a parent and to remember that no one was perfect. Mostly she wanted them to know that she would love them forever.
She had, through life's lessons, learned that being a Senior Citizen did not have to mean the end of her life. It had taken her a while but she finally knew that this was her time - and that she had the right to develop the way her life would unfold at this final stretch. She was still alive and well and had a lot more living to do. After much soul searching and agonizing she decided that it was time for her to find someone to share the next stage of her life with -someone who would fill her life and take away the need for her family to feel responsible for her happiness and security.
She 'dated' three men. The first was quite charming and the perfect beginner boyfriend, but was not interested in a fully committed relationship. They dated for three months and still remain friends. The second man she only dated once as he favored himself something of a player and was just looking to put another notch on his over-used bedpost. She sent him away the first evening before the midnight hour arrived. She was fortunate, finally, to meet the third man, and now enjoys this stage of her life with a wonderful partner - he is the perfect match for her in every way - he is a gentleman, intelligent, articulate, attentive, kind, honorable, supportive and has a wonderful sense of humor. They love each other dearly. He loves her children and grandchildren and shares with her the joys of the times that they can all spend together and he appreciates their connection with him. As a couple they travel, visit museums, art galleries, and libraries, take courses, dance, sing karaoke and share dinners and cottage weekends with a close circle of friends, and are open to enjoying new life experiences as they present themselves.
Her life is full and she is happy. Her aging outside cover simply shelters what is within her. She wants her loved ones to take a moment to really look at her, and see the beauty inside her soul. She still enjoys life and her heart sings when she is surrounded by friends and loved ones. From the mind to the heart and soul can be an infinite distance, yet she has strived, and succeeded, to fill that gap through her personal search for truth and meaning.
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