Sometimes you find  yourself in the middle of nowhere and sometimes in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself.....

Life Changing Moments

We all have areas in our lives that need improvement - whether it's our jobs, our relationships, our fitness or our overall mental and emotional state. Although making changes in any of these areas seems like a huge undertaking, the change can start with our making goals and taking the first step on our self-improvement journey, one moment at a time. 

We all face problems - everyday: procrastination, anxiety, frustration, irritation, worry, anger, fear of failure, rejection, dysfunctional relationships, not wanting to do something, wishing other people were different, wishing we were not so fat or so thin, rushing from one task to another, hating our jobs, angry at being controlled, stressed about money, not knowing how to fix things, loneliness, wanting to find the perfect partner, uncertain about our choices.  These problems are all very real but our minds actually keep us  aware of them, continually crafting them, over and over, in our heads. They are kept active as they are fed by some ideal/fantasy/expectation we have of how we wished our world to be, or how we hope it will be, but fear it won't be.

My journey has taught me that the key to dealing with these problems is in 'the moment'. I have found that I must let all of it go - just for a moment - and pay attention only to the physical things around me - the light, the sounds, things moving or inert - everything around me. I must not judge them against what I think they should be, but just observe what they actually are and thereby see the moment as it is - a moment without all the things I am worried, frustrated or angry about. And then I can deal with making the needed changes in my life - a mindful meditation. 

It was not always easy to do and that is, in part, due to the 'voice' that lived within me - the 'voice' that kept telling me that it was okay: okay to eat another pastry of greasy french fry because, after all, life at this stage of my existence should be more pleasurable; okay to skip my exercise or aquafit class because exercise is uncomfortable and not fun and life is too short for misery. It was the same 'voice' that caused me to procrastinate when I was facing a difficult task or caused me to stop my mindfulness hour each day, or stopped me from learning something new, or attempting to write another book or article because I'd rather be doing something easier. It was the 'voice' that kept me from leaving a job I hated because I was afraid of failure and the unknown. It was the 'voice' that told me to give up when things were hard. It was the 'voice' that tried to keep me from extending an olive branch to mend broken family relationships because I knew what the outcome would be. It was the 'voice' that tried to keep me from being alone with myself because that, too, could be scary and lonely. Most of us do not like things that are uncomfortable or scary - we do like things that are comfortable, safe and pleasurable.

This 'voice' wasn't really me, but was actually the little 'child' inside me - it was the younger version of me - it was the 'child' that I was when I learned all of my thinking habits. But I am not that 'child' and no longer allow the 'voice' to run my life. I have learned to become aware, to turn off the voice telling me what to do or not do. I no longer listen, I no longer obey, and I no longer believe its rationalizations.

To make positive and life-lasting changes, we all have to send away the 'voice' - the 'child' that holds us back. Through the ensuing mindfulness and awareness we can endure difficulty, we can learn to be okay with our discomfort, and we can face our fears. We can change our habits and we can make lasting changes in our lives - one moment at a time.