Some people will only love you as long as you fit into their box.....

The Value Of  A Moment

We can never know the true value of a moment until it has passed - and, in some cases, hopefully even become a forever memory. This was never more clear to me than when I was leafing through a magazine that I had received in the mail last week.

As I skimmed through some articles I was reminded that no matter how important or how inconsequential the information presented, there is always something to learn from the words shared by the writer as, in some small or large way, particular words can relay a message that fits into some corner of our existence.

My "aha" moment, however, came when I turned a page and discovered an article titled "Twenty Questions We, As Women, Should Ask Ourselves". As I read the questions and the authors' responses I quickly realized that the thoughts and words were so very familiar; in fact, in some cases they were almost identical to the thoughts and words that I had shared on this blog, through my stories and poems.

I have gained much knowledge along the paths of my life journey and have felt, and continually feel the need to share this knowledge with others in the hope that my words, based on my life experiences and those of others who share my path can be of help to those who are also seeking inspiration and hope.

What do I really want? Am I strong enough? Have I guided myself with empathy and understanding? Do I offer unconditional love? Do I know how to say no? Am I a people pleaser? Do I want children? What am I afraid of? What's my next move? What am I doing that's working? Do I examine my life enough? Are my relationships healthy? Have I been a good sibling? What do I know for sure? Have I forgiven myself for mistakes I have made? Have I been able to forgive others for mistakes they made in my life? Do I care too much about what other's think of me? Can a broken family be repaired?  Am I a good mother or mother-in-law? Do my children and grandchildren know how much I have loved them? Have I lived well with compassion and empathy? How do I want to be remembered? Asking these questions - and many more - changes our reality and exploring the ways to answer them help to push us up toward new realities, reveal our deepest truths, and lead us down the path to a better life. 

Our need to understand ourselves and to be deeply understood by others is a human characteristic. We all want to be appreciated and recognized and respected for who we are and what we have experienced. Through writing my blog entries I have continually learned more about myself and I have offered my answers to these soul-searching questions that we have all asked ourselves throughout different and difficult passages in our lives. Through the telling of a story, be it my story or a story built on experience - factual or fictional - I have been able to show a reader another way to approach - or not approach - a situation and, in turn, a reader can learn and gain insight and hopefully find a way to move from their darkness into light. Written spiritual adventures can offer guidance; words can transcend someone's ego to a higher form of consciousness and open life to joy and peace; someone else's story can be the starting point for growth as they discover how to live in the now - to not linger on past mistakes but to learn from them and then let go.  My stories and poems are my footprints of life -  my perceptions and my answers - no one else's.  They are unique to me but by reading them - the fictional and the factual - a reader will be able to glean some awareness that we all travel along difficult paths, but through soul-searching and hard work we will, if mindful of our choices, find light at the end of our emotional tunnels.

The sharing of my life experiences and my inner-most self-evaluations is not an expose but rather, for me, a healthy healing process. The words I have shared with others, be it via my blog or my books, are invariably going to  be read by 'strangers' but these strangers are free to value or devalue their meaning, just as are those who are part of my life journey, and those who read any of the million magazine articles or books written by a multitude of authors. My words are not coming from a place of professional expertise but are from my heart and my soul and most astute readers will be able to discern the value of my message and not consider the sharing of my life experiences, through my words, be they in the form of fact or fiction, as  exhibitionism. Fear hides our inner light but when we can accept our weaknesses, we can connect with who we are really meant to be. To rid ourselves of fear and attain true inner freedom, we must objectively watch over our problems instead of getting lost in them. This I have done through the writing and sharing of my words, and the sharing is the point at which my growth takes place.

Only when we feel comfortable with our own choices and accept our own imperfections will we be in a good space and able to accept that each of us is unique and each of us have our own moments to live through and examine in our own way. Sometimes, however, our differences may be falsely criticized or condemned by others who take refuge in the thought that they know better than everyone else and find it really satisfying to be able to point out that others have failed and/or really messed up according to their own personal scales. What should be kept in mind, though, is that judgement kills empathy and empathy is what actually fuels trust and intimacy which, in turn, allow us an environment in which we can grow and in which each of our moments are valuable.

Nothing has more power than the word and through my prose and poetry - through the asking and answering of questions - my words can ripple far beyond me to affect, in some way, anyone who chooses to read my work and indirectly share my journey. My words are a carrier of myself and my energy - they are a symbol of communication and the tools which can empower and open new doors for any or all who choose to read them. Spoken aloud, or in the privacy of my mind, or on the published page they embody my intentions and form the framework of who I am, as I continue to place my footprints along the paths of this ever complex journey called life.