Following is a collection of some of my poetry written from the 1970's to the 1990's- reflections of a multitude of lessons learned as I placed my footprints along the paths of my life journey
Written by Beverlee Blampied (c)
Words
Sometimes
The words you most want
To believe, to feel, to hear
Have been hidden inside you
All along - only mute
Waiting for your own approval
To be heard
Dreams
Always keep within your heart
A secret spot, a space apart
Where dreams can hide
Mirrored Images
Tiny shards
Broken and sprawled
Reflecting and absorbing
The light of life
The beauty that's been
But not the beauty within
Betrayal
The phone rings once, twice, and on the line a woman's voice -
A stranger asks me to listen to her speak of you
And danger dashes through my veins
And out of fear I choose not to impose but I continue to listen
As my whole being is ripped apart I hear words - intimate words
Spoken only to me, I thought, but now owned by her as well
As she relates to me your words to her, words not sacred anymore
A replay button could be pressed and all your lies revealed
And through this knowledge I understand that our fate has now been sealed
Anger fills my mind and heart as I hear of your love for her
Sadness fills my inner soul and I now must concur
That our time was really never whole and in the blink of an eye, and a sigh
I know that this time is the final goodbye, for the man that I loved and trusted
Never really existed
Lost
Lost in confusion, encircled by fear
Dreams mistaken, nothing is clear
Life seems trying, moments gently depart
Leaving unforgiving scars
Making fragments of my heart
Solitude
With you
Came the pain
That made me long for
Solitude
With solitude
Came the pain
That made me long
For you
Survival
I have tried so hard
To deal with our heartache
Knowing there is nothing to gain
And so, to survive
I'll let go of our dream
For no matter how short
The time may be
It is too log a wait in
In pain
Death of a Dream
After you left again
I laid down my heart
And I died inside
As I'd been left alone
To miss you
So any times
That I just didn't
Anymore
Pain
Nothing lasts forever
Troubled and abused
Black and blue
I ran and picked up
The pain
Demolished and destroyed
Stolen by hatred and fate
Searched for answers
Before it was too late
Choices
Life is death and death is life
Two parallel roads, each the same as the other
In life you fear death and in death you fear life
And the twist of the roads are ours to discover
Decisions
On the one hand there is so much to gain
On the other so much to lose
So the best decision as far as I can see
Is simply not to choose
The Haunting
Why do you haunt me
Why do I feel you
When you are not here
And never will be
Control
I can't let your memory torture me
I can't let my feelings control my mind
Because if I do I will lose myself
And find that once again the dreams begin
And then I'm left behind with thoughts that fill my heart
And make me blind to what can never be
Tomorrow
The hurts were too abundant
Too powerful, too constant
But when the sorrow faded to normal
You always promised me a tomorrow
A tomorrow
You made me believe
Would have no end
Conflicts
Eventually
The things you want
And the things you need
Start to conflict
Badly
With the things
That you already have
Leaving
Deep within me there was a fear you would be leaving
When your reason for staying was gone
But I still stayed there in your arms, not believing
That someday soon, you would have the need to move on
For me, our times together had been heaven
I discovered me - my body and my mind
You sent away my longing and my searching
Fulfilled my many wants, but I was soon to find
I needed you more completely
I needed your kiss, your touch, your body next to mine
I needed you to help me and to guide me
When I slipped back into troubled times
I needed your thoughts, your words, your kindness
I needed your understanding smile
I needed you, waned you here forever
But our forever was only for a while
And though it hurts to live my life without you
I still picture all that it could have been
And much too late I had discovered
Just how lonely it was
Walking through a dream
Illusions
I've lost you
But did I ever really have you?
You're gone
But were you ever really here?
I miss you
But did I ever really know you?
I need you
And my need is now a fear
Goodbyes
Who will say the final goodbye first
And who will make it last
Me and my pain or
You and your fear?
The Dance
Again
I hold my breath
And dance with you
I feel regret, frightened, blue
Again
We tell each other how we feel
We continue to dance
Our bodies saying, in stolen moments
What we can not
Our dance is interrupted
Again
By a reality
That can not leave us alone
And we are in limbo
The song still plays
We are no longer dancing
Time slows
But the music lingers
Again
If Love
If love could only be
All that you can see
From the outside looking in
If love could only be
All that we dreamed for you and me
Our life together could begin
If love could only be
What it would take to set you free
Our tomorrows could evolve
If love could only be
What would bring you here to me
Our problem would be solved
If love could only be
All that you'd ever need from me
I would give my all, plus more
If love could only be
It would be the missing key
To open up our every door
Reality
I wish that I could stop dreams
Pull them out
Shape them in front of me
If this I could accomplish
You would be here with me
But dreams are not reality
And memories are all I have
To remind myself
That the 'should have had'
And the 'might have been'
Will never be.....
And that our stolen moments
Have brought me only heartache
With nothing but hurt to gain
And so, to ease my broken heart
I'm now letting go of our dream
For no matter how short
The wait for you might be
It will be too long a wait
In pain
The Reason Why
It's uncanny how I feel
When you're around me
And how my heart still pounds
When you come in the room
It's as though I were about to enter heaven
Or as in just before the hour before I die
And in my mind, one fierce thought
Keeps running over -
With you
And only you
The reason why
Secrets And Lies
Once again
You've burst the bubble
Leaving me empty
Laying in a huddle
So I am giving you back
Your secrets and your lies
No more pain will they cause
In their disguise
Second Best
I have so many dreams
Waiting to be realized
That I no longer want
To put limits on myself -
I will now reach for my goals
Wish upon a star
And continually remind myself
That I am unique, I am special
And do deserve to be more
Than just second best
Love
Love is like the sunshine
That makes me a cloud
Love sounds a whisper
But the feeling is loud
Love creeps upon me
Doubt scares it away
But patience, my heart says
Soon will come the day
When I will open the black sky
And fill it with light
And you'll love then forever
When the timing is right
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