Along the path we choose to walk through life's journey we meet many people - some come into our lives and quickly leave - others remain and become our friends, leaving footprints on our hearts. 

Friendship Reconnection

I didn’t have to go - she would never consider that I had not shown up, as having not spoken to each other in close to thirty years, I would certainly not be foremost in her mind of old friends who did not make a condolence call at the Celebration of Life Service being held in memory of her mother. But, somehow, I felt that I had to go - there was an all-consuming need in my soul to reconnect with my past .

As I stood at the door, I scanned the sea of faces filling the tastefully and comfortably decorated room and quickly determined that she would more than likely be the tall, salt & peppered grey-haired woman standing by the easel displaying a history of pictures of her mother and her family.

As I approached her she looked at me and said “I’m sorry, I’m not good with names - you are?”  I told her my name and she gasped loudly. We hugged tentatively, and then suddenly and surprisingly the unfamiliarity slipped away. We both started to cry. The first words out of her mouth were “I can’t believe you came -  you were my best friend all  through our school and young adult years and I have not found anyone to replace you in all the years since.”

She excused herself to her family and we stepped out to the cafe area of the funeral home and for the next half hour, over coffee, we shared our innermost feelings. What could have been a superficial catching up ( as in how many children do you have - are you working? etc. etc.) became a soul-stirring pouring out of the roller coaster of our lives. It was as though we were back in high-school, where our lives were shared with such intensity and where we often felt we were in each other’s minds.

She asked me what had happened - how and why we had lost track of one another. I suggested that in those days, with no e-mail options, and she having moved to England, it was hard to stay in touch.  Long distance calls were prohibitively expensive then and letters sometimes took three or more weeks to reach their destination across the ocean. It became easier to just let things drop and occasionally hear about each other through mutual friends. But that was the easy answer - we both came to the conclusion that the deeper, truer answer was that maintaining a long-distance friendship was constant and hard work. It meant taking time away from our busy full lives, with young marriages and careers consuming our time. We didn’t have the maturity necessary to prioritize and set limits and make the commitment necessary to keep the friendship channels open.

To the outside world looking in, we must have seemed somewhat strange - two women well into their fifties, whispering and giggling, nodding their heads as one, alternately sobbing, then laughing. “Are you happy?”, she asked. Neither one of us had been particularly happy teenagers, so the question was not asked lightly. “I think I am”, I said‘ “though I am not always sure what happy means. But when I hold my grandchildren and all seems right with the world, I think that means that I’m happy.” She smiled and said how she, too, found an inner peace and happiness when holding her grandchild.

We could have sat together for hours, but it was time for her to return to her family in the other room and I needed to leave to catch my train home. We exchanged phone numbers and e-mail addresses and made a commitment to not let more years pass us by. I left, comforted by a renewed friendship and the promise of long talks, e-mail conversations and shared confidences that it offered for many years to come.

Life is full of twists and turns, good, bad, happy and sad. Unfortunately, my new-found 'old'

friend lost her life to cancer several years ago, but I am very blessed to have been able to have reconnected with her. Whenever we talked we slipped right back into that comfortable place called friendship - a place where we laughed and  talked for hours, spilling thoughts and sharing dreams, knowing that we were there for each other with a sympathetic ear, an encouraging word and an understanding heart. Our friendship was a very valuable gift and I have been left with a feeling of peace that I would not have known without her.