Friendship
Our souls were friends first. I know that sounds a bit outrageous, but it is the only way that I can explain the relationship that I have with my friend Charlotte. I truly believe that some spiritual source ensured that Charlotte and I would cross paths, sometime and somewhere, along this journey that we call life - and husbands, children, careers, miles, beliefs and the years between us aside - the paths we crossed led us into each others lives.
What really is true friendship and how do we, as a society, define a friend? I think that the answer is different for each one of us, yet we all know that no matter who we may call a friend, true friendship is reserved for those select few who positively impact every aspect of our lives - yesterday, today and tomorrow.
I met Charlotte over 40 years ago. After a chain of unlikely events, we ended up participating in a workshop together, searching for answers about ourselves, our lives, and our struggles in this life. Our relationship started out with a comfortable sharing of our thoughts and this sharing has continued to this day, only more intensely and deeply than we ever thought possible. We easily became friends. We were both in our 20's at the time, but it felt we had known each other for many years. We talked on the phone incessantly, learning about each other's lives and discussing how we wanted our futures to unfold. Although of different spiritual backgrounds, we shared many of the same beliefs and values, and were going through the same experiences.
In those first few months we talked about everything and anything. Our conversations flowed and they seemed to go on forever - whether it was religion, politics, philosophy, recipes, child-rearing, relationships, families and/or family struggles. We really loved every minute that we were able to spend with each other, on the phone or in person. When we talked we always learned more about ourselves. And the best part about our friendship is that we cared about each other and each other's growth as a person. Her warmth and honesty and non-judgmental attitude were a refreshing change from most things that I had, at that time, experienced in my world. I was happy that we quickly got to the point where our friendship knew no bounds.
And then things changed in an instant. Events in my life made it necessary for me to move - not just around the corner, but over approximately 700 miles away. Charlotte was happy for me that the move would mean a chance for my marriage to hopefully restore itself and for my family to grow together, but I couldn't help but feel as if I was losing a part of me. I would miss her company, her guidance, her humor and the happy holiday times we had spent together over the years. But even more frightening was that I felt I was losing the one person who knew the true me, the one person who had inspired me and kept moving me in the right direction - the one person with whom I could share my hopes and dreams. Thankfully, I was wrong.
It has now been over 35 years since that cold winter morning when we stood outside her home in Montreal, saying our tearful good-byes before my heading on to new territory. Although visits between us were not as frequent as we would have liked them to be, we did manage to see each other once a year, and since relocating to Toronto after my marriage ended, the more recent past years, and the fewer miles between us, have allowed us more time together. We have continued to share our life journey - the good and the bad. Nothing has changed between us. We consider each other sisters, and although I do have two biological sisters, Charlotte is unlike them in that there is no family history to contend with, so she is totally non-judgmental, offering, as always, insight, knowledge, and compassion. I know that no matter where we are, where we've been, and where we are going, we will always share this very special connection called friendship.
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