Our lives are filled with emotional tunnels, but by learning how to navigate these tunnels we can find healing and a new understanding of the meaning of life.....

Broken Fences And Shattered Dreams

Growing up she was taught to strive for perfection -  in all areas of her ife - so, to her, it was a foregone conclusion that she could achieve all that she desired if she worked hard enough to attain it.  And, oh, how she tried! 

The most rewarding of her successes was her home with the white-picket-fence-perfect- family. When she closed her eyes, even now, she could still see the white picket fence off in the distance - flowers surrounding it, and sun shining on it. Her memories provided her images of her twirling around and basking in all that was beautiful.

But somewhere along the twisted paths of her life journey,  through painful family losses and divorce - circumstances beyond her control - she grasped harder to her dream than to reality, and her dream shattered. She was left with a broken fence and trampled flowers, and now, instead of dancing, her heart ached and she walked slowly, choosing a new path at the fork in the road.  Her soul yearned to mend the broken pieces of her life, but she was far from being able to do so.

With every loss she had experienced she felt as if she had been plunged into darkness - she was mortified and discouraged - and often felt overwhelmed, torn apart, and dreadfully disappointed. She believed she had been punished for past mistakes she had made, in fact,  that she had been unfairly punished just for being her imperfect self.

As she went through this period of extreme loss and pain, she began to reflect on the people who meant the most to her, instead of on her personal successes, and on the clear design of her life, instead of on life's distractions and white picket fences. After much soul searching she started to learn from her negative experiences and so began to grow again. She learned through these transitions and changes, and was able to really grasp that the purpose of her life was not about a white picket fence and a garden full of flowers. It was not about a husband or marriage or family relationship that could be looked upon by others as being perfect. Nor was it about being the mother of perfect, well-mannered, intelligent, university educated, married children who she grew up to be her success 'trophies'. 

Life now became about looking at her every circumstance and every moment and knowing that through her troubled times and brokenness she could continue to grow and find her way through life's ordeals. She could cultivate her family garden, giving each flower it's own space to grow and learn. She could now stand firm in her newly found reality, but also offer assurances that would make it easier for those special to her, as they adjusted to her change.  She had learned that to be complete within herself, her relationships have to be continually cared for and nurtured, and she was finally willing to risk presenting her imperfect self to those she loved within those relationships, and she now knew, clearly, that white picket fences were not the measure of her life or her soul.