The tragedy is not that life is short but that we often see only in hindsight what really matters.....

Step-Backs and Restrictions

From the moment of birth her journey began. In every episode of her life, in every moment of growth she had stepped forward along the paths of that journey. Her every characteristic, her every talent and ability, her every encounter with life contributed to who she was.  Enthusiastically she set out on the long journey ahead of her. In her naivete she imagined that her journey would be a straightforward one with clearly delineated directions and sign posts at the forks in the road. But instead of a well-paved pathway she encountered many a bumpy and winding route. Setbacks. Her journey was full of them. But each stop, each rest, even each wrong turn ultimately provided a life lesson - a new vantage point and perception - a new awareness and a new sensitivity.

She had grown up dreaming about her Prince Charming, lost in the idea of 'love' as she understood it. Love seemed easy. She became consumed with romance. She read romantic novels, watched romantic movies, and dreamed romantic dreams. But as she matured she began to see problems in the world of love. She watched people compromise themselves for romances that were obviously temporary. She saw momentary pleasure taking the place of true intimacy. She knew children and adults who had been thoroughly hurt by their parents' bad marriages. She found it ironic that in a world obsessed with analyzing and discussing relationships it was actually very difficult to find good relationship models. She began to wonder if true love was even possible. 

And then she met the love of her life. She knew it from the moment she set her eyes on him. Handsome. Intelligent. Sensitive. She gazed deeply into his eyes and saw the depths of his soul, a reflection mirroring her own. She set out on the ultimate journey of bliss and harmony in their idyllic life together.  

One morning, however, she woke up and realized that their blissful journey of togetherness contained more than she had bargained for. Petty arguments, full blown disagreements, quarrels that lasted for hours, sometimes even days. All of a sudden she realized that this perfect soulmate had some very real needs and wants - some of which differed drastically from her own. He had his own established outlook and perception on things which sometimes pulled in a very different direction than her own. 

Her smooth journey now developed a number of bumps and life threw even greater challenges at her. She experienced a crisis to her health, to her emotional state and to her financial well-being - external circumstances that just shouldn't have been. A block in her way to her perfect life - a restriction.

So now began the real journey - the hard work - the uphill climb to a happy and fulfilled life. To continue to successfully develop this relationship she realized that she needed to look beneath her partner's baggage to rediscover his true essence. She needed to see beyond his resulting needs to uncover, again, the beauty of his soul. More importantly she needed to continue to work on herself to transcend her constricted ego-based vantage point.

As hard as it was, even in those ugly moments of their life together - even in the stops, the resting areas and the wrong turns of their life - they learned to be there for each other. Each crisis in their relationship became an opportunity for them to reach a higher level of closeness. Each set-back became a chance for them to forge a deeper connection and to reveal the deeper bonds of their relationship that could only surface in response to difficulty and hardship. Each restriction was an opening to reveal how their relationship was not dependent on surface matters or good times only. 

Through much soul-searching she had discovered that a strong, unbreakable relationship is developed only when both partners focused on giving and exploring what was specifically special about them. That the ultimate partnership was between two people who could 'build' with each other - two people who diligently nurtured their relationship. True love is based in reality, and as they shared the mundane and painful experiences of their life they now truly learned to love. These shared moments of growth are their most intimate experiences. Their shared tears had helped them grow and brought them to the acceptance that their relationship was not disposable, but was, instead, irreplaceable.