Finding Solace
She stopped and stared in disbelief, again, at the image in her bedroom mirror. She didn't do this often - study her image - as she was uncomfortable with what it represented. There were lines around her eyes now - wrinkles. Her hair had turned silver. And she certainly seemed to have a little more 'fluffiness' about her than she wanted to admit to. She didn't want, or even know how to reconcile the reflection of herself with the younger, more vibrant woman who existed in her mind.
She had difficulty falling asleep that night, restless, ruminating about all the connotations her reflection presented. How and when had this happened and how could she have felt so disconnected about her aging image? But, in the early hours of the morning she suddenly awoke with the realization that there was a very good reason for this disconnected feeling and it had nothing to do with vanity. It was, instead, a wonderfully liberating reason as she realized that although her face and body were showing more and more signs of age, her soul was not, and if continually nourished, would not. Her soul was ageless and it was what made her who she was - her essence - and it wouldn't ever get old. Her body would decline more in time, but her soul would not decline in any way - it was the 'spiritual part of her and would always be as 'alive' as the day she was born.
She realized now that her mirror experience was telling her that the slow decline of her body was actually designed to let it become clearer to her who she intrinsically was - a soul - not just the body in which her soul was clothed.
She still felt much, much younger than the reflection she had studied in the mirror but was now able to reflect that as she had aged she had still been able to receive as much pleasure from songs, scents and wondrous sights and experiences that had entered her soul and enlivened her spirit, as she always had, or perhaps, even more. And, as her body would slowly, dare she think, 'deteriorate' even more, her passion for the warmth of meaningful love and life would not wane at all - it would increase - as her soul was made to become more and more apparent. Through the aging process, she could live from her soul rather than herself and become more in touch with her intuitions and emotions and as she continues to age she can sink more into the earthiness of her identity and become less interested in the surface glitter and enjoy the relief from the mad pulse of life at its prime. The melancholy of aging can make her reflective as she advances in years - but it can give more weight to her thoughts.- and finally she can accept that she is made up of many personalities, youth and age being merely two of them.
No comments:
Post a Comment